Sunday, January 31, 2010

Justin T. Turns 29!!!!

I'm MORBIDLY OBESE, but that's beside the point- it's Justin Timberlake's birthday!!

Our FINE fellow Tennesseean is turning 30-1 and it's a reason to celebrate! Tell us how 29 is Justin, we'll both be joining you later this year. =(

Friday, January 29, 2010

New Episode: Tea Party In The U.S.A.

New Episode of Cliff and Kendall: Coast to Coast. "Tea Party In The U.S.A."

Cliff and Kendall throw a tea party, re-virginize themselves, and ask some stupid questions, tell some bad jokes, and enjoy an etiquette tip from Mrs. Potterbutter-Butterchurn.

Not to be missed! Also- This is our last show on our old server. Don't forget to re-subscribe! (You can do so by clicking the button up on the left).

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Heidi Montag Talks Plastic Surgery

Little Frodo is 29 Today!

Can you believe teeny-weeny, itty bitty, pint-sized Elijah Wood is turning 29 today?!?!? Grandpa!

Send this once (and future?) hobbit some cake-filled vibes today as he invariably will eat lots of treats wrapped up in leaves as he's pulled around in his Radio Flyer (in his birthday suit?)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Ellen!

Today belongs to one of our two favorite lesbians: Ellen Degeneres!

The N'awleans native turns 52 years young today! She's doing better than ever, a skinny little vegan, and will soon be the nicest judge on American Idol!

Keep on truckin' Ellen- you're one of the best! Have an extra slice of your egg & butter-free cake today for us!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

New Episode: Black Ice!

This week we're steering into the skid with a SASSY chat about winter weather!  We've got lots of icy incites to get off our chest- and we're not stopping there! 

We've got News from Kendall's Mother, the Weirdest (frozen) News around, and turn on the defrost for some BAD JOKES!! 

As Podcaster Magazine might say: "It's a raunchy belch-a-thon unlike any other!"  

(Reminder: This is the next to last episode that will be available on the old server- the new one is just a click away in the left hand sidebar)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Stars to Shine for Haiti

Friday night many networks will dedicate their airtime to a telethon to help the victims of the earthquakes in Haiti.  And the stars are lining up to answer phones, make pleas, and sweep floors all in the name of a good cause.  

To read more names of those famous faces (including the vampire above) who'll be showing up click HERE, HERE, or HERE.  To donate CLICK HERE

Happy Birthday Dwight!

It's the birthday of one of our favorite TV Stars- Rainn Wilson aka Dwight Schrute!!

Rainn Wilson also belongs to a really nice sounding religion, according to this Oprah podcast I listened to once- sounds like fun!!

Happy Birthday DWIGHT! (He's 44) Let's hope this year you can get knock Jim Halpert down a few rungs!! Wait- am I confusing reality with fictionality too much? 

How to Know When Stars Are Gay

Finally!! There is a foolproof test- and you can see it HERE!  It confirms all my suspicions and actually, though it's pretty funny, makes lots of sense.  Of course I will have to pick out new stationary, because they declare I'll never marry Jake Gyllenhaal- but maybe he's the one they got wrong. 

P.S.- is it hard for you to even pretend Tom Cruise is a movie star anymore?  I see the picture above and it doesn't even cross my mind that he makes movies. 

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Happy Birthday Dolly!!

Today America's number one treasure turns FOREVER YOUNG!!

She is an inspiration to us and to the world!! There just aren't enough good things to say about her- so we'll just say "Happy Birthday" and Thank the Good Lord Above for sharing the same planet with her.

Have a great day, Dolly- with many happy returns!!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

New Server Link Again:

Here's the LINK again that should help you subscribe to our NEW SERVER'S feed on itunes- don't miss any of the sass that's coming to you!

There is also a button below the podcast player in the left hand sidebar here on the blog- in case the link above doesn't work. 

There are only 2 more episodes that will be available on the old server- and then it is really going out of business FOREVER.  This is a really good thing- as it allows us to do all kinds of technical shit that Kendall's very excited about!  And it promises to deliver the show to you without being cut off in mid-joke, mid-belch, or mid-disco stick! 

New Episode: New Year's Resolutions

This week we jump on the incredibly timely topic of New Year's Resolutions!!!

Have you made one? Have you broken it yet?? We've also got Things You Should Know, Media Minute, and Economy Update with Frequent Guest Star Alan, and BAAAADDD Jokes!

(Check out our previous post on how to get the show from our NEW SERVER!!! Our old one will be dead in a matter of weeks!) 

Floor Collapses Beneath Weight Watchers Meeting

Click HERE to read what would happen if Kendall and I had ever gone to the same Weight Watchers meeting!

In Sweden they got a bunch of Cliff and Kendall-itis going on!!! I guess this is why the meeting I used to go to on 35th and Park was in the basement!!

Exclamation points!!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Kimmel Burns Leno to His Face

Kendall may want to leave the room!! Leno invited Jimmy Kimmel on his show last night and this was the result!

The zingers don't stop- my respect for Jimmy Kimmel has just gone up 100%! I guess Jay Leno feels his reputation is shot anyway, so why not just take the money and host.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hitler Learns He Can't Listen To Cliff And Kendall:Coast To Coast

Which "Lost" Character Are You?

Surprise!!!! I could easily have been Hurley or Locke but turned out to be Kate!! At least I was locked in a cage with Sawyer for a while. Oh well- if you're gearing up for your final trip to this crazy island like I am- you may want to paddle your canoe over HERE to find out which "Lost" character you'd be!!

Disney Cartoon Countdown

Kendall would approve this message!

Over on Rotten Tomatoes they have ranked every animated Disney (not Disney/Pixar) film in order of their press reviews or something. Anyway, it's pretty interesting although they've made a few glaring errors ("The Emperor's New Groove" is not better than "Peter Pan").

Head on over to see where your favorites rank!

New Server Update!! (a 'How to')

The good news is we HAVE A NEW SERVER!!! This means no more episodes cut off in their prime-

The "other" news is that to get the upcoming shows (for the next 10 years or so) you will have to resubscribe to the show on iTunes.

Here's how: open iTunes, go to the iTunes store. Search for "cliff and kendall." You should be presented with a variety of options, including our Kathy Griffin spin-off, the old feed, and the new feed from our NEW SERVER.

The differences will be: the photograph for the new feed is the one above, and the title of the show now includes the number 2. (Just remember "shitty podcast . . ." No! Kidding, don't think that). There will also be fewer episodes listed under the new server's feed. Just click "subscribe" and you should be home-free to enjoy uninterrupted "Cliff and Kendall" throughout the new decade!! You could just click on this link to subscribe to the new feed as well.

Hopefully this is fairly easy, and we won't lose any of our beloved listeners!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

New Show: Cliff and Kendall in the Morning 3!

The SHOCK JOCKS are back!!! "Cliff and Kendall in the Morning" returns with all new crack'o dawn sass and outrageousness! Up now on itunes!! WAKE UP ASSHOLES!

P.S. we're getting a new server by the end of the month, so hopefully all the horrible download problems will be remedied!! Let's pray!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Link for Current episodes.

So yes, we're having troubles with our server again. We are deciding the best way to remedy the situation, but in the meantime, until the problem is resolved here is a link to download this week's episode.

A Helpful Start:

This year is pronounced "Twenty Ten" and NOT "Two Thousand Ten" according to the national grammar association. Read about it HERE.

Yes- we've been doing it wrong for 10 years. Yes, we can't believe there have been 10 years since the 90's. Sad =(

But as Oprah says- when you know better you do better. No time like the present for a positive change!! And on the 8th- I'm gonna lose 90 lbs!!!!