Finally!! There is a foolproof test- and you can see it HERE! It confirms all my suspicions and actually, though it's pretty funny, makes lots of sense. Of course I will have to pick out new stationary, because they declare I'll never marry Jake Gyllenhaal- but maybe he's the one they got wrong.
P.S.- is it hard for you to even pretend Tom Cruise is a movie star anymore? I see the picture above and it doesn't even cross my mind that he makes movies.