Monday, March 29, 2010

Republicans Like it Rough

You can click HERE to read a hilariously real article about the Republican National Convention and their $2,000 tab at a bondage themed strip club in West Hollywood. Seems they enjoyed seeing nearly nude lesbian lovin' as they plotted ways to keep guns, glorify Christ, and screw gays.


Does He Want a Gordo Podcaster?

Ricky Martin has finally come out of the closet! You can read his journal post HERE.

Now, he's had kids (by himself?) for a few years- and did a duet with Madonna in 99(?) and now I'm wondering if he's in the market for a morbidly obese, self-loathing, partially balding, podcaster. If he does- or if you do- why not e-mail us at

I'm Livin' la Vida Gordo!

Largest "Non-Cliff & Kendall" Man Boobs

You can READ all about the Chinese man who has man boobs rivaling only those of Cliff and Kendall!

They're big! But at least he has some medical condition- we've just been eatin' too many pounds of pie!

Facebook Will Eff a Bitch Up

You can read THIS important article from CNN about how people are changing their facebook names and tightening it's security all in the name of finding a job.

It's smart, and there are definitely some pics of me slobbering on buffets I'd like to keep private, but isn't it weird how we have to hide who we are and button up our lives so other people will think we can type and shit? Better not have fun (or at least leave no record of it) even if it's completely legal and all are consenting adults!

So I guess then it's three people we have to answer to then, ourselves-God-and society. Blorch!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Listen Now to "Goodbye Cliff"

Dear Friends & Listeners,

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I was working on my last episode. It's up now on itunes and above, here on the blog. It was a very hard decision to make, and I'm still not over it. To leave the show that I have loved doing so much for over two years- still makes me kind of sick to write it.

Anyway- you can catch my final segments (two favorites: Stupid Questions, Dear Cliff and Kendall), my last Bad Jokes (we tried to make 'em extra juicy), and a collection of our favorite moments from the last 117 shows (not a moment from each show- but close). And don't miss Kendall and I each singing a song to commemorate the occasion- and stay tuned til the end for my favorite Cliff and Kendall moment of all time.

I'm going to miss the show so much. But I know Kendall and I will stay close, and he will continue the show in some form, and it'll be great.

Love & Laughter,

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Smoke Monster Forever!!!

Okay, we're halfway through the final season of "Lost" and I just wanted to record for posterity's sake a list of the characters I'd be sad to see die:

Rose & Bernard
Locke (I know, Locke's already in Heaven- but I've transferred my loyalty to him to the Smoke Monster now inhabiting his body. Also, I expect him to die- but I don't have to like it!)
Ben (I was only very recently won over to liking him)

That's all!! Aaron could die and I wouldn't really feel anything.

People who MUST die:

Everyone from the Temple (check!!! Thank the Good Lord Above!)
Jin & Sun (to say MUST die is extreme, but I'd like to see at least one of them be shot to death)
Charles Widmore (Please God!!)

Oh, Tina!!

Tina Fey is (or is gonna be maybe) on the cover of the new Esquire. I'm sure it will be hilarious!

About Twitter: "Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way."

To read a few (short) excerpts- go HERE. Read Cliff and Kendall's twitter posts up on the left!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

You Know Who Was Cute in the 80's?

Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy!! I just watched "St. Elmo's Fire" for the first time ever and was hit with these facts!!
Now if the movie had been made today Andrew McCarthy's character really would have been gay and not just in love with Ally Sheedy, right? Right?

Speaking of 80's teen heart-throbs, how can one leave out the mega hot Johnny Depp in that "Nightmare on Elm Street" of his? The outfit alone!!!

I could never have pulled that look off. Kendall and I would be locked behind bars if we wore the mid-riff exposing jersey over those sensuously loose sweat pants! On Will Ferrell it would be considered comedy- on Cliff and Kendall: tragedy at its zenith.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Meryl Streep Deserves 10 More Oscars

To those of you (paging Kendall) who say "She's won enough"- I submit to you this blurb from the's list of 10 lessons the Academy learned this year.

"Meryl Streep's losses are beginning to become an industry embarrassment
Hollywood, you have a problem. Everyone in this town loves Meryl Streep. She is one of our nation's greatest living artists and over the past five years has made a slew of money for almost every studio in town. However, something has to be done about this cycle of Academy Award losses over the past 25 years (and really Steve and Alec, did you need to rub it in her face again?). Unfortunately, this pundit has no magic solution. It appears Streep can withdraw her name from consideration in future years, but since we all know she more than deserves a third Oscar (or four) why should she? Luckily, for her sake, she has no films on the immediate agenda for 2010 which means a well-needed break from the Oscar game. But at some point, this town needs to stop taking Streep for granted and give her the third Academy Award she so justly deserves."

Yes, she's been nominated 16 times- but she's only won twice! Hillary Swank has two Best Actress Oscars to Meryl's one!! (and she was The Karate Kid 3!!!) I love Sandra Bullock (and Kate Winslet) very much, and don't begrudge either of them a trophy (even though I won't watch 'The Blind Side' til it runs back to back on TBS). BUT! Meryl deserved it last year, she deserved it this year- and dammit! She better get another one soon!

Read the full article HERE.

An Embarrassment of Riches

Should this guy really be in contention to win American Idol? Doesn't he already have enough!?!?! Where are the fat weirdos like that gray haired guy that won- or Ruben Studdard? Clay Aiken was hideous!

Okay I don't watch the show (sorry Ellen!) so maybe all the other contestants are fugly. But come on!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Snooki and Sarah Palin are the Same Person!

You can read THIS ARTICLE which tells you several reasons why the breakout star of the 'Jersey Shore' and the breakout star of the 2008 Vice Presidential Debate are essentially the same person.

The list is great, proving the gals have more in common than just both being fame-whore cartoon characters. Personally, I can't stand either of them- so I put a nice picture of Zac Efron, which is much easier on the eyes (and the soul).

Take This, Pope!

Sinead O'Connor has a bone to pick with the evil, horrible, no-goodnick Pope! Irish bishops have been asking parishioners to pony up some dough to give to victims of priest molestation!

Sinead says nothing compares 2 the Pope- in a bad way! She continued in an open letter to several Irish newspapers:

"If Christ was here, he would be burning down the Vatican. And I for one would be helping him. How long do they expect us to restrain ourselves? We have put up with this bull dung for hundreds of years.

A true Christian is someone who, in any given situation, is supposed to ask themselves what would Jesus do, then try to do that. How an organisation which has acted, decade after decade, only to protect its business interests above the interests of children can feel it has the right to dictate to us what Christians should do is beyond belief."

Say it Sinead! Just in time for St. Patrick's Day!

You're Invited to our Oscar Party!

This week on the show we share our Oscar predictions and MORE!! Find out the locks to win (as if you don't know) and enjoy a generally festive atmosphere to boot. Also find out what Kendall will be wearing on the red carpet!

Maybe some nachos- Flanders style! (That's cucumbers with cottage cheese).

with WEIRD News, MEDIA Minute, and some of the worst BAD Jokes you ever did here! All this week on Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mr. Grant Opens Up

Click HERE to read a nice interview with Ed Asner about his work these days, including voicing the lead character in "Up" and apparently touring with a one man show about FDR!

In addition to "Mary Tyler Moore" (my personal obsession) he's played Santa Claus at least four times- what's not to love?