Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year, Bitches!!

Well, Cliff is in New York and I am in LA with Susan celebrating the new years. We may be far apart, but we're both drinking. Happy new years to everyone and here's hoping that 2010 will be a very sassy Cliff and Kendall Coast to Coast filled year.

Also, our apologies for the issues with the "Cliff and Kendall Zone" download. We will try to have it fixed in the next couple of days or have a separate link that you can download it even when the new episode goes up. Everyone stay safe out there and remember the most important key to a safe new year. No matter how much you've had to drink, if your thinking about driving, make sure your listening to Cliff and Kendall on your radio.

HAPPY NEW DISCO STICK! (This post was edited by Cliff a lil later)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

1st Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog

Merry Christmas everyone!!!  Your last gift of the Cliff and Kendall blog is LOVE.  Is this a cop-out? On Christmas Eve- No, it's not. 

From all of us (our many, many employees and subsidiaries) at Cliff and Kendall Coast to Coast Studios- Have a very Merry Christmas and we wish you nothing but the happiest of new years!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Zack Attack

I always wanted so badly to look like Zack Morris, especially when he worked at the Malibu Sands. I wish I had a river, to skate away on . . .

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

2nd Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!!!

THIS LINK is pretty very funny. It's a graph of sexual bases through the years. For instance: First Base in the 60's was Holding Hands, while 3rd base in the 00's was uploading your sex tape onto the internet. I guess it's slightly NSFW but there aren't any nudie pics or anything.

Here- if you're at work or in front of shy people CLICK HERE. It's some more awkward family photos!!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and the First Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!!! What will your gifts be??? (Let's wait and see!)

3rd Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!

The end is coming everyone!!!!!!!!!!

The horrible, terrible, most depressing end of the Christmas season. By Saturday we'll all be on ledges everywhere needing someone to talk us down! I will miss my Christmas lights, my tree, my baubles, and razzleberry dressing.

Sorry to overload you with videos- but the one above should remind us that killing ourselves on the 26th is not a necessity. Not if we keep Christmas with us all through the year.

4th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!!!

Continuing from our last Christmas gift: Another one of the best people ever to grace any screen: Dame Edna!!!

Hello Possums!

5th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer/Smells Like Teen Spirit!!! Live by Kiki and Herb!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

6th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!!!

Okay today's gift is not from me- it's from THE GOOD LORD ABOVE.  29 Years ago today a woman was no longer great with child- she birthed in a cowstall the humble and beautiful creature that would come to be known as Jake Gyllenhaal.  
Happy Birthday Jake Gyllenhaal!! May your 29th birthday be the happiest EVER (even without Reese Witherspoon?) and may you enjoy MANY HAPPY RETURNS!
And the Lord saw what He had done- and it was good. 

Friday, December 18, 2009

7th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog!

This is your gift (above). Yes I know its an ad for a show on a channel you probably don't have. BUT- it's also the best gift you ever got and you know it's true!!!!!!

RUPAUL IN 2012!! (She's so much better than that moose-huntin' alternative from the "real" America!)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

8th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog:

Your gift today is AMAZING!!! It's the blog Third and Delaware which is painstakingly combing through every episode of "Roseanne"-looking for fashion gold!! (They're up through Season 5 "The Nancy Era.")

This is David in a look I tried to pull off in the 90's as well- open shirt over graphic tee, but I was always too FAT to pull it off. When I walked my 'overshirt' would always blow around too much! Behind David you'll see a close proximity of what I look like now. How time marches on!!

I love Roseanne and I love this idea!!! Merry Christmas to All!!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

9 Days of Cliff and Kendall Blog Starts NOW!!

Oh fuck! It's already too late to start some sort of 12 Days of Christmas thing here on the blog- but let's see- uh how about the 9 Days of Cliff and Kendall Blog??


Okay- here's day One's BIG GIFT:

Just kidding- (but now we know his workout routine!) find your gift HERE: Better Get to Clickin'!

How Bored Are You?

If you answered "Really BORED!" then you can head on over HERE and visit!!! It's Santa's home on the web or something, and it's very cute and it's Christmas cheer cannot be denied!!

Wait are you still bored with nothing to do?? Well, you could always click on THIS, or even HERE, and lastly this will surely cure you.

Friday, December 11, 2009

New Show: Christmas Home Companion 2009

The server appears to be working again! Christmas be praised!

We're Live! On stage & in your ear with Special Guests, Jokes, a Journey to the North Pole, and a variety of seasonal selections - all add up the best Christmas Show of 2009! Don't miss the cheer express!

It's actually a favorite of ours, so we hope you enjoy it and it adds to your holiday experience! And as we know from Christmas Vacation "it's all about the experience!"

Having a Rage Stroke

There is a new show- and yes it is a Christmas Classic and yes it really is very good.

The server is of course fucked up. Much like man- we do not control the Universe, but must put up with its whims be they evil or beautiful.

Still, all in all- I'm having a rage stroke (like Jenna on last night's '30 Rock'!) But what are you gonna do? I'm gonna down some egg nog and maybe when I wake up it'll be to a frosty Christmas miracle.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Did Obama Block Snoopy on Purpose?

According to a looney mayor in WEST TENNESSEE he did!! Charlie Brown's annual re-learning what Christmas is all about was supposed to air this week, but Obama the Muslim who ate Christmas had to go and have a speech about the Afghan war or somthing.

Look I don't know nothin' bout bailouts and I still can't marry Jake Gyllenhaal- but I'm willing to cut Barry O some slack unless he's a closet Snoopy hater!!!!

Read the insanity spouted by the Muslim-fearing mayor HERE.

Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas HERE.

(FYI if you want to wait ABC will be airing "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on Dec. 8 and 15th at 8/7 Cental)

Whoopi and Joy FOREVER!!

Watch what happens when Whoopi is asked her opinion of the whole Tiger Woods insanity- PRICELESS!!!

I am with Whoopi 100% and anytime Joy can put down Elisabeth Hasselfuck and belittle the furor over Michael Phelps' marijuana photo at the same time- she's the best thing on TV.

Love them! And the 400 year old fossil of Barbara Walters is fascinating to watch because it's not often you see on TV the opinion of someone who would otherwise be playing bingo in the nursing home if they weren't a millionaire. (Not to be agist! it's just that many 80 year olds live in nursing homes and who doesn't like bingo?)

New Show: Christmas Cocktail Party

This week the drinks are on us!! We begin the Christmas season in style with carolers, your Christmas memories, the gifts of Media Minute and Weird News, BAADDD Jokes! and MUCH more!!

Also- don't miss the crazy holiday drink recipes, and find out how Cliff and Kendall are the American Susan Boyles!!!!

Christmas comes but once a year- so get ready for some holiday cheer!! (and it might help if you bring some beer.)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Back to Subway!!

Looks like someone pulled a Cliff and Kendall and ate 30 too many pies this Thanksgiving! Jared (no longer a former fatty, but a former former fatty) strolled through some airport the other day on his way to a Dunkin Donuts of some shit.

I kid!! But get back on the wagon Jared!! If not for us- then for the Subway millions your missing out on! Good luck, fellow traveler of Interstate Obesity!
(And I'm guessing this is real, because why would there be papparazzi pics of him when he was fat?)

Happy Birthday Brit-Brit!!

28 years ago today (although it still seems like just yesterday to Mom Jamie Lynne) a bouncing baby Britney was ushered into our universe!!

She's crazy and fun- and we hope she never changes! Have a great birthday Brit! You deserve it!

Below: The Very Good Old Days

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I'm Not Sorry

I hate that Adam Lambert (or his reps or whomever) feel he must keep constantly apologizing for his little dance number a few Sundays ago. Let it go! Madonna was way filthier at 10AM every day in the 90's!! Anyone remember that?

Below: She let's it all hang out. As she should! As we want her to!

Adam: You're not their bitch, don't let the Palin-ites hang their shit on you!