The Late 90's as told by "Daria" Stills

Remember "Daria" from MTV's late 90's period? Yes or No- here we go: It's the 90's refracted through the lens of these screen shots of "Daria" (lalalala you're standing on my neck, etc.) First observation: 9 out of 10 shows on TV are some version of "Sick Sad World." 

Daria's sister Quinn was using a laptop not to go online, but to use one of those magic computer programs that let's you see what someone's head looks like on different outfits. 

JANE IS ON A PAYPHONE. 

Birthdays Are Special

As a teenager I baked birthday cakes for the likes of Madonna, Rosie O'Donnell, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Cher. (It was kind of like sending up a burnt offering, but instead you got to eat it with ice cream). Now, as an adult I must make due "wishing" happy birthday to celebrities via this blog. Sunrise, sunset.

Anyway- I missed a few birthdays this month!! Up top, see Britney Spears celebrate a birthday- only a few weeks ago she celebrated turning 30! Hopefully she took advantage of both 30th birthday episodes we recorded this year, and eased herself into middle age along with us. Only 10 days ago the world's Gyllenhaaliest Jake turned 31!! So much older than me. It's much more appropriate to lust after celebrities that are older than you.

In case I forget in January, allow me to preemptively wish Happy Cakeday to another older celebrity (and my first love) Justin Timberlake, also turning 31!

Also in January: Living legend (and Patron Saint of ME) Dolly Parton turns 66! Salute her!

Justin Timberlake Buys MySpace!

In other hot dude news, Justin Timberlake (and some other probably less hot dudes/dudettes) are pooling some cash to buy that creaky old internet ghost-town known as MySpace.

And THIS JUST HIT ME, he's buying MySpace and he was IN THE FACEBOOK MOVIE!!!!! What a world!

Anyway- Justin says he wants MySpace to be a place where people can connect with their favorite artists and hear new music and stuff like that. I love him (and all together the site's selling for 35 million, which means even if he bought the whole thing it'd be chump change for JT) BUT if I can get tweets directly from Lady GaGa and see pictures uploaded by Elvira herself on facebook- then I already feel pretty connected. But- who knows, we may all move back over to MySpace by next year!

Probably not, but good luck Justin! Considering these days he's better known as the voice of BooBoo in that allegedly awful Yogi Bear movie- maybe instead of hooking fans up with a newly bedazzled MySpace- he could hook a fan up with a new Justin Timberlake album? FutureSex/Lovesounds is now in the past!

Who Wants a Three-Way?

After Saturday night: Me!

Did you catch the Saturday Night Live finale over the weekend? Jesus moved around some schedules and allowed my first love Justin Timberlake and Lady GaGa to be on together!

HALLELUJAH!

Normally I think the show is almost always a let-down (the Betty White episode is of course an exception; the recent Tina Fey hosted show not-so-much). Anyway- this week was actually pretty funny- and luckily Lady GaGa was all over it!

(Justin has not let himself go!)

Of course the best part was the Three-Way song, in which JT and Andy Samberg engage in menage trois with LG. I have loved Lady GaGa for a while, but never actually wanted to be her before. All that's changed now. It's all changed. I'll sub for her in this three-way any time!

Watch the video HERE and imagine me instead of LG!

It's 4/20 Somewhere, Right?

Subtitle this post: Stars Cliff and Kendall Should Get to Know! Just kidding, as Mr. Snodbottom just reminded me, Cliff and Kendall would never advocate illegal drug use, but it is the counter-culture "holiday" known as 4/20 which "celebrates" weed smokage.

So if you're aware, stoned, or "high" as Woody Harrelson might say, you may want to click HERE to read all about the Hollywood heavy hitters that heavily hit the bong now and then. Some surprises are in there! For one, look at Brad and Jen down there- don't they look happy? Know why? They're high as two hot and sexy kites!!

More surpisingly tokey celebs (or at least those who have admitted to passing a j "in the past": Natalie Portman, Whoopi, my high school heart-throb Justin Timberlake, and (!!!!) the lady herself, Ms. Barbra Streisand! In fact, in the 60's when she was a twenty something playing Vegas, she'd often light up on stage and share with the band. No doubt this was to calm her infamous "stage jitters."

Well, whether you've got stage fright or are just really in the mood to enjoy this week's Cliff and Kendall episode (seriously, my assistant Tyler says he can only listen to the show aware!)- you may as well toke up! It's 365 days until the next 4/20!

Bringing 30 Back

Today our little Justin grows into an adult. He's now driving around a van with Cheerios rolling around on the floor.

In other words, one of the world's hottest sex symbols today turns thirty years old!! Test out those waters, Justin. For it won't be long until you have two morbidly obese companions in the pool that only 30 year olds can visit.

Yogi Bear Movie Exists

So this is the poster for the upcoming 3-D SPECTACULAR that is the Yogi Bear Movie. I'm glad Dan Aykroyd found something to do, but am a bit puzzled as to who realized the very best choice for the role of Boo Boo was . . . Justin Timberlake. I'm also curious as to when JT's gonna bring Sexy Back. Because I'm pretty sure its gone away again. The photo below is from when Sexy was previously broughten back.

Justin T. Turns 29!!!!

I'm MORBIDLY OBESE, but that's beside the point- it's Justin Timberlake's birthday!!

Our FINE fellow Tennesseean is turning 30-1 and it's a reason to celebrate! Tell us how 29 is Justin, we'll both be joining you later this year. =(

Happy Birthday Brit-Brit!!

28 years ago today (although it still seems like just yesterday to Mom Jamie Lynne) a bouncing baby Britney was ushered into our universe!!

She's crazy and fun- and we hope she never changes! Have a great birthday Brit! You deserve it!

Below: The Very Good Old Days

Trailer Park Review

This weekend two big dumb comedies are opening head to head- here's what Kendall and I say about both of them:

"Get Smart":

Kendall- I say yes! I was at Warner Bros. when they were filming this and I was laughing even way back then at Steve Carell and his shoe phone! Funny schtuff.

Cliff- Yeah! This may not be "great" but actually looks fair enough, which in the summer is usually the best you can hope for. Also, ever since I started watching "The Office" this movie has looked better and better to me. I will have to resist the urge to yell "where's Dwight??" though.

"The Love Guru":

Kendall- This is a big stinking, flaming, pile of horse shit. Yeah, I said it. A big old NOOOOO!!!!

Cliff- Not to be all "Full House" about it, but NO WAY JOSE!! This just looks shitty. Sorry Austin Powers- you've lost your mojo! And if you're on the fence because you sort of want to see Justin Timberlake in a speedo (you know who you are)- let me do you a favor:

Poll Results!

Wow- look at the diversity we achieve here. We can all come together even though some of us are Dark Knights, and some of us are Sex and the City. And even a few of us are Love Gurus. Or maybe they're just Justin Timberlakes in their underwear. Whatever, enjoy the poll results for the week ending June 6, 2008!

Happy Birthday to our Friend!

Yes, it's true! A close personal friend of mine and Kendall's is having a birthday today!!

Twenty Seven years ago, the world was blessed with the birth of the one and only, multi-talented, artiste: Justin Timberlake. Born in Tennessee (like all the best celebrities) his musical talent was discovered while still in the womb. His mother first heard his heavenly voice humming along to the car radio as she was being driven to the hospital.



He later went to elementary school with RheAnn White (our connection! check out our top friends on MYSPACE baby!) and it was there he somehow was escorted to the Mickey Mouse Club. He went on to form supergroup 'Nsync with those other boys. (Fun fact: it was during this time he first appeared on my bedroom wall!)



After the dissolution of TRL trailblazers 'Nsync, he went on to record the hot and heavy albums "Justified" and "Futuresex/Lovesounds." He is now currently immortal.



Help us in wishing JT the happiest of rich and famous birthdays!