Sunday, March 11, 2012

Daylight Saving's Time!!!

Do you find yourself doing crazy things like getting tattoos in Ellen underwear!?!? Have you been resting?? Well, wake up! HERE are some tips you could have used to make today's "lose an hour" transition even easier!

In the future, remember to go to sleep 15 minutes earlier than normal the week before the time change. Also, try and schedule a vacation for that week. Then, who care when you wake up?!?!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

If only we were still in school!

WASHINGTON—Finally conceding it is unrealistic to expect today's children to complete a pull-up, run a mile, or touch their toes, the President's Council on Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition announced Tuesday the new standard for winning its award would be the ability to eat a meal without breaking a sweat. "In our revised physical fitness test, a meal is placed in front of a child, and the longer he or she is able to eat without wheezing or needing to lie down, the higher the score," said executive director Shellie Pfohl, adding that children who complete the meal in the fastest amount time without shifting around in their seat to make their pants fit more comfortably will be eligible for the top medal. "We want our kids to set more pragmatic, real-world goals for themselves, and being able to run back and forth across a basketball court one time is no longer realistic." At press time, elementary school student Henry Walters was on his fourth helping of mashed potatoes as his obese classmates cheered for him to keep going.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Muppet Talk Show

OK, Finally a talk show I might actually watch. Various websites are reporting that the Jim Henson Company is working on a talk show for BBC One in the UK, to be hosted by a new puppet character. There’s not much info yet, but the show is being called No Strings Attached, and it would involve a puppet talk show host interviewing real celebrities. Naturally, every website is calling the character a Muppet..

The announcement brings two things to mind: First, Augie & Del’s Late Night Buffet, the Henson project from a few years ago that never got off the ground… That was supposed to be a talk show hosted by two puppets. The other thing, of course, is Alf’s Hit Talk Show, which lasted for seven whole episodes on TV Land in 2004. If No Stringsmakes it to air, let’s hope it fares a little better.