2014 Excellence Award: Best Music

Only minutes before the year ended, Madonna was forced to release 6 songs from her upcoming album due to the acts of some heinous hackers. Luckily for all involved the six songs were better than any other songs released in 2014 and so they captured the Excellence Award at the last second! 

I also want to go ahead an pre-give the 2015 Excellence Award for Best Album to Madonna's "Rebel Heart" (since its win is obvious already). Pre-order now and get 6 tracks! I only wish the physical cd were out already so I could do a signing at Hanky's Books and Bait! #unapologeticbitch #livingforlove #bitchimmadonna 

Material Bowl

For the first time since Cher sang the national anthem at 1999's Super Bowl, gay Americans may have a reason to tune in!! According to THIS article- Madonna has been signed to perform the half-time show!

It will be surreal for Kendall, knowing that I'm also tuned into the Super Bowl! Although, let's get real- I'm watching Madonna and then switching the station. Screw "watching it for the commercials"- fuck commercials.

Also- don't forget to download our Road Rage episode from itunes! And coming this Friday, it's Episode 206: Ways to Die!!

Celebrity Scientologists!

C'mon- you know it's kind of fascinating to hear which celebrities are scientologists! They believe in Xenu, a space alien (it's true- go HERE to see more about their beautiful sci-faith) and go HERE to see a list of 10 of Hollywood's favorite Xenu-Freaks!

Cliff and Kendall think every religion not associated with a Pope is great- so praise the most high Xenu everyone! If you stop in the NY subway to have a "Stress Test" you'll soon be going home with your very own copy of Dianetics and then you'll have the fun of signing over your paycheck to the moon! (I guess). At any rate you'll be in the company of celebs like Dancing superstar Kirstie Alley, one time sex symbol Tom Cruise, and current Cliff and Kendall look-a-like John Travolta! Also, that one girl from Mad Men, and more!!

Seriously, I think worshipping crazy stuff is great. Aliens are cool, right? Check out this collage of things I "worship" (below).

(I just really like blue sweatpants, okay?)

Madonna Wears Outrageous Outfit #3,012

There are times to dress like a lady over 50, and then there is Oscar night! Sunday night the Queen of the World, also known as Madonna, hosted a glitzy party the likes of which we mortals will never see- and she dressed the part! Opting for that fresh pantsless look, Her Majesty wowed fellow party goers and showed the rest of us that over-the-top attire has no age limit. Next time James Franco does drag, this is the outfit I'd suggest!

Queen of Universe Turns 52

Happy Birthday to God's finest creation (though let's be honest- much of the credit goes to the Queen herself)- Madonna turns 52 today!!

She has made much of my life far worthier of living, made terrible moments infinitely more bearable, and entertained, excited, and enthralled me to no end. Thank you God and Thank you Madonna!!!! Praise to you both!!!!!!!!!

Uh Oh- He's Gonna Sing!

Madonna's boyfriend Jesus who is not only 22 and very godlike in the looks department- is also a crooner!! He was signed by Warner Bros. (?- correct me if I'm wrong. I dare you.)

He's set to release his first single which may be called "We Come From Light" sometime this spring! I bet he had some help from someone we all know and idolize- Her Madgesty! If they duet let's hope it's as good as her collaboration with Ricky Martin "Be Careful with My Heart (Cuidado Mi Corazon)" which is actually amazing.

I just love Madonna's bagel boy! Read more HERE.

I'm Not Sorry

I hate that Adam Lambert (or his reps or whomever) feel he must keep constantly apologizing for his little dance number a few Sundays ago. Let it go! Madonna was way filthier at 10AM every day in the 90's!! Anyone remember that?

Below: She let's it all hang out. As she should! As we want her to!



Adam: You're not their bitch, don't let the Palin-ites hang their shit on you!

The Sexy 1980's!

In a bold move- the paparazzi have leaked some pictures from the "Sex and the City 2" movie shoot that perfectly coincide with this week's episode of Cliff and Kendall: Coast to Coast!

This portion of the movie has the potential to be goofy- but all if forgiven by seeing the gals in their 1980's wardrobe! LOVING IT! These pictures are totally making my life a little bit better!

Free Video!!

Starting today and for 48 hours only you can download Madonna's new video FREE from itunes! It's for her new single "Celebration" from her upcoming and similarly titled greatest hits collection.

It's free- don't pass it up!

Happy Birthday to God's Masterpiece

Madonna turns 51 Sunday August 16th!!

Also: Big Happy B-days to Kathie Lee!

Madonna and (another) Child!

Congratulations to Madonna- on Friday the courts of Malawi granted her adoption of 3 year old Mercy.  

The tot will be taken from the orphanage she's been living in to Mama Warbucks' home soon- if she hasn't already. The sun came out for this little girl today- what a great thing!

Happy Mother's Day

. . . to all you mothers out there! If you haven't gotten Mama a gift yet- you could at least sit and listen to this week's show together.  Talk about bonding!

Oscar Man!

Okay- Lead Man!! No, not a knock off of Iron Man (hahahaha!) it's a race to the finish for:

Richard Jenkins will need to VISIT somewheres else, no Oscar!

Brad Pitt will go home and cry into Angelina's bosom: no Oscar!

Frank Langella may not be a crook, but he will also not be an Oscar winner!

That leaves: Hulk Hogan wannabe Mickey Rourke and ex-Mr. Madonna Sean Penn. 

It's anybody's guess but:

If Sean Penn should win- expect Mickey Rourke to jump off the ropes and body slam him and take the Oscar home anyway!

Either way: The Mickster will go home with the gold. 

Madonna: Just Like Us!!

Performing in Italy this week, the Queen of All Things: Madonna in effect said "Take this, Pope!" when she dedicated a song to him!!

She must be a fan of mine and Kendall's podcast! We're always giving stuff to the pontiff. Watch the video above (its 2008 so its from a cell phone, but they had good seats and the quality's pretty good) and see which of her biggest hits she sent out to the Popester via the Universe and thousands of Italian fans!

Like a Birthday Girl

As we all know, tomorrow The Queen of the World- Madonna- turns fifty years old! Let us take a moment and rejoice!!

Below is one of my favorite Madonna moments of all time: her Victorian era performance of Vogue from the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards. It's lip synched, but the performance was much more about pageantry and making a statement about, uh stuff, than just singing a song. (In case you were wondering, she almost always sings live now- unless her choreography calls for her to stand on her head or something).

I still very much remember watching this performance live on TV at my grandparents' house. I was 8 or 9 years old, but I was allowed to watch the awards and of course they saved Madonna until the end. And she came on and was wonderful- and our cable went out in the middle of her song. I'm sure I cried. As I would today. Watch the video and pretend you're eight- see if you grow up gay.

Happy Birthday!! Here's to fifty more years!

Mary- The Musical!

Opening next week in The Vatican- it's "Mary of Nazareth, A Story that Goes On." A new musical!! It's the first time that a musical will be performed in the Holy Auditorium, which has previously just been home to shit like Mozart.

This brings to my mind two things: Catholic drag queens dressing as Mary, and reviews with headlines like "Mary, A Story that Goes on (Too Long)" or "Mary Goes On and On and On . . ."

But they probably can't write that about a musical that's been blessed by the Vatican Secretary of State! Below are my guesses as to a few of the songs that will be included:

Send in the Virgins

Good Morning Bethlehem

And I Am Telling You I'm Not Giving Birth In A Barn

Ease on Down the Road (I'm Riding a Fucking Donkey for My Baby's Sake)

All That Jesus

I Could Have Prayed All Night

Everythings Coming Up Moses (note: did Mary know Moses? help me out Biblical scholars!)

She's Keeping Her Baby

Judges ruled today that Madonna can keep her adopted son David- forever! After a long journey the courts finally ruled that the family can stay together, and the Malawain government has even made Madonna an honorary citizen of the country in recognition of all the great works she has done there. David joins Madonna and Guy Ritchie's family as their third child. Congratulations to the happy family!

Buy it Y'all!- Madonna's "Hard Candy"

Yesterday saw the release of the great new disc by Madonna- "Hard Candy."

It features a very up to the minute sound and a bunch of real popular people twiddlin' the nobs with good ol' Madonna. You can always count on her to release something really great, and she hasn't failed us this time!

Up above you can listen to her next single "Give it 2 Me" (She writes like we text!) and it is AMAZING! It's way better than "4 Minutes" and should convince all the hatahs at the club to crump on outside.

Enjoy! and then head on to your local record store (even if its is Wal-Mart) and buy buy buy!

Florida's Holy License Plates

So this is the license plate some people are trying to get Florida politicians to allow as one of the 100 or so choices of FL state vanity plates. And we think this is FINE. So long as some other options are added as well. See below.

Kids These Days!!!!

Our new episode is coming tonight!! Its all about whats wrong with kids these days- from naked phone pictures to Wii-ing all over the place, you name it we Andy Rooney about it!

Also included is a very informative Media Minute (full of Jake/Madonna/Mariah news!) and the audience favorite Bad Jokes!!

Plus, FOR THE FIRST TIME, we welcome a special guest to the show!! Check out the photo above for a glimpse of this week's guest podcaster. (No, it's not Sasquatch) Exciting!!