Halloween Success Tip #2

As a young Tom Cruise once put it, "Sometimes you just gotta say what the f***."

My real point is you should say that (what's in quotation marks above) and spend the day watching Roseanne Halloween episodes.

 

. . . and the worms have eaten me. Yeah, that's probably my favorite one. 

Happy Birthday Roseanne!

Today is the 59th birthday of my idol: Roseanne Barr! She's out there telling it like it is and like it should be! I hope I am half as awesome when I'm 59 (if I'm 59, which I probably will never be).

I hope she finds a way to bring her nuts to our homes and back to TV!

"Office A-Ha Moment"

So I was innocently watching "The Office" this week and suddenly a Sabre printer blew up over my head. Heretofore I had experienced complete disequilibrium when I thought of "The Office" and its legacy. My mind couldn't make sense of how the show could go on- minus the effin' STAR OF THE SHOW. But! As I sank into this week's episode-the 2nd in new boss Andy's regime-it hit me!

"The Office" will no longer be thought of as 100% great. Shows like "Seinfeld" or "I Love Lucy" were pretty excellent throughout their runs. And it took me this long to see that our beloved Dunder Mifflin employees now belong to another club. Not a bad club- indeed some of the greatest shows ever belong to it- but a different club.

There is a line in a Toby Keith (!) song on country radio right now that goes: I ain't as good as I once was . . . And that's what I'll call the different club. Not that the shows got terrible or unwatchable- just not as good as they once was. Members of this club include:

"Designing Women" featured a somewhat similar shift from really good to meh when stars Delta Burke and Jean Smart left. The new designers never really measured up.

"Roseanne" went downhill when our working class heroes won the lottery.

When "The Simpsons" (I hate to use the phrase 'jumped the shark'-but what else fits?) depends on who you ask- look in your heart and you'll know.

BUT!!! A-Ha moment conclusion: The upside is even if the show's evolutions leave you sour enough to eventually stop watching, oftentimes in syndication these second tier episodes grow on you. You've seen all the "best ones" over and over and so you relent and watch. And they ain't half bad! I began to appreciate Jan Hooks, Julia Duffy, and whoever played B.J. when "Designing Women" ran late on Nick at Nite. Similar situation with "Roseanne"- and well, I still like "The Simpsons." Will there ever be another Monorail-level episode? Doubt it- but who could ask for more than one?

And so I think the same will go for "The Office." Now that I have the correct mindset, I think I can handle Andy's managerial status (as they really seem to be sticking with that decision-really guys?)

Thus endeth this treatise on whatever it was I was writing about.

Roseanne on Letterman (with Reege!)

Click HERE to watch Roseanne's appearance on David Letterman's show from earlier this week. She's hilarious, and I am so pumped to watch her new show!

As she sat down, Dave mentioned that she looks like a psychic. She does, right? She probably is! At any rate, soothsayer or nay, she's her super-funny self and I can only hope her new show is around for years to come!

In the interview she tells Dave (and Regis, the evening's co-host) about her nut farm on the big island of Hawaii. The island is filled with old hippies, she says! Maybe Tyler and I should box up all my fiber bars and his Grateful Dead mp3s and move there?

Something, something Tyler's nuts.

"Roseanne's Nuts" the new reality show airs on Lifetime!

What a Wonderful World

Cliff and Kendall are influencing the world!!! Just look at the top 10 things trending on Yahoo! No, I don't give a shit about debt ceilings! And who the fuck is Bree Boyce? WHO CARES!?!?

OPRAH-JAKE-ROSEANNE-FRANCO!

Have a scroll down the blog and you will see so many of their faces! And I don't go a day without trying to Oprah-fy myself! (Especially since, as you'll hear on this week's show, I'm a talk show host with a supporting roll in an independent film!)

Maybe today will be great?

**UPDATE: Turns out Bree Boyce is a beauty queen who lost 110 pounds and has written (no kidding) a book about OBESITY! Another score for Cliff and Kendall!**

Big TV Week!

It's a happening week on TV here in the middle of this boiling summer!

Tonight on Discovery we've got my husband Jake Gyllenhaal on "Man Vs. Wild"- where he eats worms and . . . bathes in streams? (Fingers Crossed)

And then on Wednesday the 13th we must all tune in to see "Roseanne's Nuts" on Lifetime! It's the Domestic Goddess' new reality show about her nut farm in Hawaii. Click HERE to read a great interview with the former Lanford resident. Kendall, could this be our new "D-List"? Shh . . . don't tell Kathy!

And then on Thursday at midnight, finally a reason to leave the house: HARRY POTTER 7 part 2!!!

Happy Birthday Aunt Jackie!

So, I'm innocently watching an old "Roseanne" episode and BOOM on the internet I'm informed that today is Aunt Jackie (aka Laurie Metcalf)'s birthday!!! She's 56 and still so awesome (I'm assuming).

And right now, in this 18 year old sitcom episode, she's really pregnant. Did you know when Jackie was pregnant with Andy that Laurie Metcalf was really pregnant? She was!! And now she must have a 17-18 year old kid that damn well better be making her a birthday cake right now!

Happy Birthday!

Why, Dunder Mifflin, Why????

Oh GOD this sounds terrible. (Spoiler Alert) But click HERE to read a brief forecast for the end of this season of The Office.

(Remember, Spoiler Alert!) Okay, I hate to be so negative, really!- but, according to the link above, Steve Carell will be leaving the show with at least 4 episodes remaining in the season. In those four episodes we will witness (the tedium of?) Dwight, Andy, and Darryl scrambling to assume power. We will also be reunited with Todd Packer. Why? I would say it's because in our past lives, fans of the show must have done something really, really bad. Todd Packer is not funny in and of himself. Michael Scott's extreme fandom of Todd Packer is funny.

(Now I'm gonna get weird) When you're a big fan of a show, it's especially hard to watch that show become terrible. Like Roseanne, The Office was so good that it's sharp turn towards bad is even more noticeable and more difficult to take. I'm not saying the current season of The Office is equal to the all out rottenness of the season after Roseanne and Dan won the lottery, (I'm assuming that next season will fill that role, and with any luck, will similarly be the show's last) but this season is right up there with season 8 of Roseanne which saw some crazy shit in the name of comedy- like Sharon Stone welcoming Mark and Becky into their trailer park, etc.

Maybe the writers will turn it around and spin this season's dross into gold- but if what's transpired so far is any indication- I wouldn't hold my breath.

(Now more personal shit) I don't feel like the show "owes me" anything, and I don't begrudge Steve Carell a movie career, and I don't think the writers, actors, and other crew of The Office should be penalized for wanting to carry on working together. But for me- someone who has bought all the previous seasons of the show- what do you do? I'm not that OCD, but I can't lie and say I don't feel the void on my shelf that marks where season 9 of Roseanne would be, were it not awful. And I've thought about buying it- simply to 'complete the collection' and so in case of nuclear fallout I might have 'em all- for whatever reason. But what of season 7 of The Office? I think it might just make me sad to have it, knowing it was so weak, and never wanting to watch it.

I am far too wrapped up in fiction and I know this. Yet, don't we feel a loss when a show we love ends? When we can't peak in at the lives of those characters anymore? There is also a difference between a show abruptly ending (Arrested Development, for example) and watching a show slowly fade into lameness. One feels like a car accident, swift- and you can always say "They had such a good life! Right up to the end!" The other feels like watching someone die from a long disease. They wither away, and you are there to hold their hand and watch the light leave their eyes. In the end you are simply glad they no longer have to suffer. (I warned you above this would get weird).

Maybe The Office will rally, beat the cancer and live life to the fullest! Maybe they will shed some cruddy current story lines (Dwight and Angela's sex contract- never funny; Andy and Erin's romance- a sad grasp for Jim and Pam's glory days) and come back with something fresh and new! Let's hope so!! (Or maybe a grizzly will attack the place and Dwight will be the only one left standing? That's okay too).

Sitcoms of the 1980's

If you've got some time to kill on the internet, you may want to head HERE and read an in-depth look at the sitcoms of the blessed decade of the 1980's. It was then that the sitcom nearly died and then was reborn bigger than ever, thanks primarily to The Cosby Show.

Some of my favorite shows were created then (Roseanne, The Golden Girls) and nearly every show mentioned warms me with a misty nostalgia, just as one of the best of the decade- The Wonder Years- would want. Even the shows they toss of as being "less than stellar," like Mr. Belvedere, Growing Pains, or The Facts of Life make me long for the days of poofy shoulder pads and New Coke. And don't you agree with the 10 year old me, that Mike Seaver was super cute, right? I mean before he became over-the-top born again?

*Okay I will admit that Full House is awful. I LOVED it as a kid- even had stacks of VHS tapes full of what I called my favorite show- but unlike those gals in Miami or the denizens of Lanford, IL- Michelle and her outs-cream haven't aged well.

Happy Birthday Aunt Jackie!

Today my favorite television Aunt turns 55!! (I'm trying to think of other TV aunts- Patty and Selma, that's all I got).

Here's to you Aunt Jackie! Below- a shot from my favorite Aunt Jackie moment. After getting a contact high from Roseanne's old joint she sits in the bathtub and asks, "Is this the sink? Am I shrinking!?!?"

8th Day of Cliff and Kendall Blog:

Your gift today is AMAZING!!! It's the blog Third and Delaware which is painstakingly combing through every episode of "Roseanne"-looking for fashion gold!! (They're up through Season 5 "The Nancy Era.")

This is David in a look I tried to pull off in the 90's as well- open shirt over graphic tee, but I was always too FAT to pull it off. When I walked my 'overshirt' would always blow around too much! Behind David you'll see a close proximity of what I look like now. How time marches on!!

I love Roseanne and I love this idea!!! Merry Christmas to All!!!

Halloween Cartoon! (2)

**click for larger**

Favorite TV of the year that's now over

Okay- I would say that my favorite show of last year was AMC's Mad Men. The first season I watched from Netflix and season 2 from Kendall's DVR. Brilliant!

The 60's, Cigarette ads, women treated like objects, minorities treated like less- a very eye-opening show that let's us see how far we've come. But still so far to go- can you see the pro(Obama)mised land??

Now, I'm gonna bet that Kendall's favorite show was "Lost." If you don't know much about that show- check our podcast archives because we did an entire episode devoted to it! Aww, and it was our first show in HD- memories . . .

Honorable Mention: Roseanne Reruns!

"Roseanne" was one of the all-time best sitcoms ever- and is really just as hilarious and fresh- and VITAL today as ever. How long has it been since you've seen a show about REAL POOR PEOPLE?? Not a caricature, or an exploitative 'reality' show? "Roseanne" deserves to be seen again (and most seasons are very affordable on Amazon- $15-$20 a piece).

I must say watching the Connors struggles makes me feel MUCH BETTER about being poor and imperfect! Try not feeling like a pile of obese shit while watching "Gossip Girl"- now watch "Roseanne" and feel your self confidence rise!!!! A++++