Commence Gaying Out

New Cher movie- This Thanksgiving! Finally something to be thankful for!!!!!

Aughhhhhh!

In news of our collective mortality, Macaulay Culkin turns T-H-I-R-T-Y today!!!!

So slap some after shave on your face or dribble some saliva down your chin and celebrate!!

Birthday Blitz

Today was born the macabre man behind some of my very favorite movies- Tim Burton!! He turns a spooky age- 52- on this day. Thanks Tim for "Edward Scissorhands," "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure," Beetlejuice," "Batman," "Batman Returns," "The Nightmare Before Christmas," "Ed Wood," and "Sweeney Todd."

It's also the birthday of Alexander Skarsgard who plays the hottest and ice coldest vampire on "True Blood"- Eric Northman. Your welcome.

Old Man Wants Toys

These ones to be exact!! Coming in September to CVS drugstores!

Betty White Forever!!!!!

This fall Hollywood ingenue Betty White is going to guest star on one of my favorite comedies, NBC's "Community." She's going to be a rappin' granny or something. And I can't wait!

She just won an Emmy for hosting SNL, and in recent years has guested on "Ugly Betty," "30 Rock," and "The Middle." It just got me thinking that there is no show on the air that I wouldn't want her to be on. Herewith, my ideas for other guest roles Betty should consider:

"True Blood"- who wouldn't want to see Betty turn up as a feisty vampire?!? Maybe the Sheriff of a neighboring area? Or she could be an old but vicious werewolf!

"Mad Men"- the CEO of a cigarette company that won't take no guff off nobody, including Don Draper whom she sets her sights on seducing.

"Dexter"- on a crowded street someone bumps into poor Betty's character and she falls and breaks her hip. This is a case for "The Dark Defender"! Dexter's gotta murder the pusher!

"Grey's Anatomy"- She's Alex's pill poppin' granny. She's in town to help him get over Izzie once and for all. And while she's at it, she has a hot affair with the Chief.

"The Office"- Aren't they about to launch a search for the new Michael Scott? Bingo!

I just wish she could have been slipped in on "Lost" as Jacob's grandma.

Why Men Wore Wigs

(Photo: the Cliff and Kendall of 1695)

Are you like Cliff and Kendall? Did you one day think to yourself "God has forsaken me and caused me to go bald! I'm fat because of Dairy Queen but my balding head is all on the Lord! Why couldn't I have been born in the glory days of yore when being obese and wearing a big puffy white wig was all the rage? Or at least why could I not have been born a pair of Jake Gyllenhaal's underwear?"

The answers to why men wore those puffy wigs is here! From yahoo! answers:

"The history of wigs goes all the way back to antiquity. In ancient Egypt it was common to shave ones head and wear wigs because of the prevalence of head lice. Since only the Wealthy and Well Born could afford to do this, wigs became a status symbol. This picked up again during the Renaissance, when antiquity began to be rediscovered and explored anew. And once again, only the wealthy and well born could afford wigs. Thus what started out as a hygienic tool became a status symbol. Except for very high ceremonial and court functions, the use of wigs as fashion statements largely died out in the 1790s due to the French Revolution and the rise of republican simplicity as an alternative fashion statement."

Damn republican simplicity! Nowadays when you need a simple republican you just look at the latest issue of In Style for a dumb-ass quote by Sarah Palin. Bitch! Let's calm down:

(Those underwears right there)

New Dolly Movie?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Fudddddggggcccckkkkkkk let this be true!!!!!!!!!!!

From EW.com:

"Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah are set to co-star in a new film called Joyful Noise, according to the Hollywood Reporter. The “musical-driven movie” will revolve around a gospel choir that both of their characters are trying to prevent from being closed down. This will be Parton’s first major film role since 1992. Todd Graff (Camp) is writing and directing."

It's True- Fiber One Alert!

ALERT: The box says that our beloved Fiber One Bars "Now, Tastes Even Better." And as grammatically incorrect as that last sentence was: it was TRUE. They do taste even better!!!

Now for a while the Kellogg's Fiber Plus bars have been touting "Tastes Better Than Fiber One" on their boxes- but I never really bought that. Fiber Plus bars are a different animal. They're softer and more candy bar like. Very good- but not a solid "hunger killer" the way Fiber One bars are.

Fiber Plus bars are best served, broken in half or thirds and warmed inside a hot bag of popcorn. Fiber One bars are best served any time at all. And now they taste even better!!! They are good warmed in a pocket (like the gummy bears from 'Ferris Bueller') or unwrapped and microwaved for 5-10 seconds. Like eating a cookie from the oven. I love Fiber One Bars.

Queen of Universe Turns 52

Happy Birthday to God's finest creation (though let's be honest- much of the credit goes to the Queen herself)- Madonna turns 52 today!!

She has made much of my life far worthier of living, made terrible moments infinitely more bearable, and entertained, excited, and enthralled me to no end. Thank you God and Thank you Madonna!!!! Praise to you both!!!!!!!!!

Big Fan

Ricky Gervais was snapped exercising over the weekend as he was obviously listening to "Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast." Since it was this weekend, he was probably listening to "August Awareness Month" that is unless he was re-enjoying an old classic like "Vatican City Takes It," "Awareness Awareness Month," "Emergency!," "Clean Week," or even "Election Night 2008 Play by Play." Hope you liked it, Ricky!

Pee-Wee's 25!!

Happy Anniversary to one of the greatest motion pictures ever made: "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure"!!

The world was forever changed for the better 25 years ago today when Francis stole that bike and (reportedly) hid it in the basement of the Alamo! I only ever think of Pee-Wee when I hear of the Alamo, and will forever be grateful for that!

I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel! I lived it Dottie. It was on a night just like tonight, on this very stretch of road . . . Au revoir Simone! I'm ready, she's ready, we're all ready!!! Take a picture, it'll last longer. I know you are but what am I? The stars at night are big and bright- deep in the heart of Texas! I say we let him go. BRILLIANT!

Travel Show Oprah Headline

This is a travel show on youtube hosted by a guy who has cerebral palsy (he calls it the 'sexiest of the palsies'). He's in some competition to be in a competition (VOTE HERE?) on the Oprah Network (the one with Rosie's new talk show!) and all I can say is if he wins and gets his own show on OWN, and Rosie's on there- I gots to get me some Oprah channel!! (Not to be confused with the Opera channel, which I don't really need).

Now I Need This Channel . . .

Rosie is coming back to daytime television!! Hooray- She'll once again have her own talk show (unfortunately with fewer Koosh Balls, I'm guessing) on Oprah's own cable channel (called OWN- the Oprah Winfrey Network). Sounds good, I just need that channel now!

I Think He's Super!

Click HERE to read an article defending the oft-dumped-apon "Superman Returns." It's dumped on by comic purists (or some shit) and I dunno why!?!? I LOVED it! I had a Superman poster for years after I saw it! (and that had little to do with Brandon Routh's beauty).

More on Brandon Routh's beauty, I mean- his incredible screen presence! Actually I thought he was great, in addition to being the hottest man in tights I've ever seen. But he probably won't put the tights or Clark Kent's thick glasses back on. They're re-imagining Superman. Even though this movie is only 5 years old, but they're rebooting Spiderman as well and he was last seen in 07!). Oh well . . .

YES!!! Christmas Is Coming Early . . .

On October 12th to be precise when a bargain priced DVD of "He-Man & She-Ra, A Christmas Special." I have no memory of this whatsoever but I must have watched it as I was very into He-Man in 1985. (Yes, as a 4 year old I was drawn to a cartoon series featuring a man in a loin cloth. Go figure).

And Kendall and I have to steal this layout for our "Christmas Home Companion '10" posters! Ho Ho Ho!

House of Tragedy!

Our sister in sass- Niecy Nash is leaving the Style Network's #1 show "Clean House"!!! This is such sad news- I have no idea who her replacement will be. Some guest hosts have been a white nerd lady (fair) and Urkel's neighbor (no good). Oh! This is sad!!!!

I read somewhere she taped a pilot for a talk show so maybe this means that got picked up? Who knows! I just know my dream of attending a "Clean House" yard sale is over. The 3 remaining hosts I do love, but . . . without Niecy? Let's just all pledge to wear a flower in our hair today in remembrance of Niecy's 9 seasons hosting "Clean House."

(P.S. Congratulations are in order as Niecy just won a daytime Emmy for hosting "Clean House's Messiest Home in the Country"! Which if you haven't seen that special from 2009- it's one of the best things I've ever seen on television, seriously!)