Too Much Twilight!

Now I am in favor of Robert Pattinson's big mop of greasy hair just like all the other girls I'm in sixth grade with- BUT! This "Wuthering Heights" tie-in is too much! Must classic literature be sold upon the basis of these (watch out) not very good books???

Now in the interest of fairness and transparency, I will admit I've never read "Wuthering Heights"- but I did read "Twilight" and . . . didn't care for it! It wasn't horrible- I just read through 400 pages where NOTHING happened and even though I had another 100 pages left I found I couldn't possibly care less what happened to these people. No offense!

Now I do like vampires well enough, and maybe I didn't care for "Twilight" because I already had a vampire series to read: Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books (the basis for HBO's 'True Blood')- which, I will have you know, I read BEFORE they became a show. I bought the first book "Dead Until Dark" from an old dude selling paperbacks on a card table outside Walgreen's beneath the Astoria-Ditmars subway stop in Queens. I believe I paid $1.25 for it.

Now I've gotten this out of my system. Is everybody as ready for Halloween as I am? All this vampire chatter has me excited!

Excuse me-

When did "The Tyra Banks Show" become informative? Is she applying for the same endowments for the arts grants that we are with our informational episodes like:

Clean Week

Emergency!

June Awareness Month

And why did she win an Emmy for all her information dispersal?

Ohhhhhhhhh. There probably were no other informative talk shows. Nevermind.

Some Quick Happy News . . .

Mark your calendars for next Memorial Day!  The world's favorite sexy foursome are coming back to movie theaters everywhere!!

"Sex and the City 2" began filming recently in my hometown of Manhattan!

Come on girls- do you believe in love?  Carrie's got something to say about it, and it goes something like this . . .

Please Stop Fucking!!!!

In a bit of horrible news that I totally called on a podcast earlier this summer- the incredibly irresponsible and IDIOTIC Duggar family is about to unleash another child onto this overpopulated planet!

NO THANK YOU!

I knew from the title of their insanely ludicrous TV Show "18 & Counting . . ." that they would have another child. TLC probably paid for it! These people need a fucking condom, vasectomy, hysterectomy, BIRTH CONTROL, or something!!! I understand the opposition to abortion- but wear a FUCKING RUBBER!!!

STOP HAVING SO MANY FUCKING BABIES!!!!! THEY ARE STEALING ALL MY OXYGEN!

(I know all the kids are cute and shit, but does any one family need 19 people???? What if we all did that? We would have to mow down every inch of forest, fill in all the lakes and rivers, and build houses on the polar ice caps, and still we would all die. I just know it!)

Free Video!!

Starting today and for 48 hours only you can download Madonna's new video FREE from itunes! It's for her new single "Celebration" from her upcoming and similarly titled greatest hits collection.

It's free- don't pass it up!

Happy Birthday Lily Tomlin!

The star of two films in my all time top 10 favorites list (9 to 5 and Big Business) turns 70 today!!

Wish her a happy birthday in your head and send some good wishes to her out into the universe!! And if you have her phone number, by all means give her one or two ringy dingies (Laugh-In reference).

Celebrate!

CALL US! This week's question is . . .

We're starting a new segment on the show based around YOU! You can reach us at the Cliff and Kendall hotline to answer this week's question!

In honor of our Folsom Prison show: IF YOU WERE ON DEATH ROW, WHAT WOULD YOUR LAST MEAL BE?

Call us now at our hotline number: 818-308-4FAT

Listen next week and you might just hear your response!