Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Attn: Obese Folks on Campus

Dear Obese People on Campus,

Or anyone else who feels like the world's fattest salmon swimming upstream). Look! There it is! It's getting closer every second. What is it? Why, it's the light at the end of this tunnel you thought would never end!

Even though you may have 1,000 things left to do (or just 4 things that seem entirely undoable) remember this: YOU CAN SURVIVE!! No matter what- THIS will END!!! In short order this will be OVER.

You may be barely breathin' but you're not dead, no. Tomorrow's another day, you should NOT BE AFRAID!

The light, it's almost visible- if you squint really hard- and it's . . . beautiful . . . as pretty as little Zac Efron's eyes . . . and you are moving towards it, even if you feel like two giant hands are smashing you into the pavement . . . you are moving towards the LIGHT!!!!


Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast

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