Freezer is a Land of Plenty

Click HERE to read an article about the unexpected uses of your freezer! Like unstinking things and making candles last longer.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Me Want Food!!!!!!!!! And in those gut-busting times to come today, remember the words to the song at the beginning of the Garfield Thanksgiving special: Make your Thanksgiving one long meal, cuz the more you eat- the more thankful you are gonna feel!

No Cake For Me (Anymore)

In a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE turn of events Food Network has turned off the oven on 'Ace of Cakes.' In other words: it's cancelled.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE shows about elaborate cakes and prefer ones with cool-hipster-laid back bakers and not rejects from a 'Sopranos' improv troupe! (Sorry 'Cake Boss!) I will weep as the final season begins in January. WHY FOOD NETWORK?????

I was in love with two bakers on the show- Ben (above) and little Geof. If I had a slice of cake right now, I couldn't even eat it- cuz it would be soaked with tears!!!!!

Blessings Count: 3

Can you believe I found three blessings? Three reasons not only to be thankful over the next week, but also reasons to leave the house?

A CHER movie! (11/24)

A JAKE GYLLENHAAL movie! (11/24)

and HHHAAARRRRRRYYY PPPOOOTTTTTTEEERRR!!!!!!!!! (NOW!)

Give thanks unto the Lord!

New Segment: F.U.

Cliff and Kendall are getting hot and heavy (well, technically they were already heavy)- with their new segment F.U. which stands for F--- University! Enroll for sex tips to spice up your marriage, your domestic partnership, the affair you're having, or even the anonymous sex you're planning for your upcoming trip to the truck stop!

The segment is of course a spin-off of the fan favorite episode from September also entitled "F.U." The segment premieres on this week's Thanksgiving episode.

P.S. Do you need a way to keep your appetite down this holiday season? Just look at the above picture which features Cliff and Kendall dangerously close to scantily clad models in various stages of eroticism!

Barbra, Jerry, Bette

Why oh WHY was I born a gentile?!?!?!?

There was some sort of Jewish gala lately and look at the attendees! I am so very jealous of the carpet these three heroes of mine were standing upon!

Dear Heavenly Father,

HOW ARE PEOPLE'S BODIES LIKE THIS (above) WHEN THERE ARE THINGS LIKE THIS (below) ????

Love,

Your Fans- Cliff and Kendall

Mash Recipe

If you were lucky enough to catch our recent podcast "Obese Again, Naturally" you heard us discuss a recipe of my own creation: Mash. It's low-cal, low-prep, high in vitamins, and more appetizing than anything in Disney Pixar's 'Ratatouille.' Many people don't love plain vegetables, but who doesn't love casseroles?? This is like a very healthy casserole just for you!

First! You will need:

1 vegetable you can stomach. My favorite to use is zuccini (about 2 medium/large or 3 or 4 small ones), but you can also use squash, spinach, or as I had on hand today: broccoli. The point of the vegetable is you want to use one that is zero Weight Watcher points. To learn more you can click HERE. You want a large amount of the vegetable, as it makes up the majority of the your mash.

Low-cal Spaghetti sauce (you will only need 1/4-1/2 a cup)

1 frozen veggie burger. Kendall and I are vegetarians, so we use these. For a carnivore you can figure out the equivalent amount of meat, but you might as well use a veggie burger as they are low-cal and are clearly marked "1 WW Point" (see photo). I especially like the Boca Bruschetta burgers and the Morningstar Farms Black Bean burger (although they are 2 points).

10 saltines

(You can also add some cooked onion, onion powder, garlic powder, any low sodium, no-cal spice that you like.)

Step One: cook your vegetable. Cook it until it is soft and mashable. I boiled my broccoli, Kendall grates his zuccini, there's no wrong way to do it so long as it's nice and soft when it's done.

Step Two: Microwave your veggie burger and mash it up.

Step Three: Add cooked vegetable to mashed veggie burger in a large bowl.

Step Four: Crush up 10 saltines into the bowl.

Step Five: Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of spaghetti sauce to mixture. Use enough to satisfy your taste, but no more than 80 calories worth. (Refer to the back of the jar).

Step Six: MASH THAT SHIT UP! Once your mash has turned into something that resembles what the Pilgrims did into buckets and then tossed overboard the Mayflower, you're done!

Step Seven: Eat it! It does look awful. I admit it. BUT it tastes good!! It's like a one person casserole that will satisfy your need for a large heap of food and won't add those unwanted pounds! We all need something to keep us full around the holidays and this is something!

You Can Vote!!

Click HERE to vote for the People's Choice Awards, I'd tell you how long the voting will be open but I bet it says in that link!

Anyway, I would (and did) vote for a few reasons:

1) How often do we, the regular Joes and Josettes of America get to vote for award shows?

2) Our Lady of Broadcast Comedians (Kathy Griffin) was nominated. If you're looking just for her, her show is nominated under 'TV Obsession'.

3) There is a SMALL chance this will be the only award show that nominates 'Sex and the City 2' for something.

4) Even though 'Prince of Persia' was only so-so, I was reminded of how infrequently my husband Jake Gyllenhaal was fully shirted and thus voted for the movie in favorite action something or other and for Jake himself as favorite Action Star.

5) How many award shows let you vote for your husband and manstress? (Jake and Zac, pictured above)

6) I had 7 minutes to fill.

So vote!! Also, my fellow Americans, this is a good time to remind yourself that you live in a democracy if you skipped out on those icky mid-term elections a few weeks ago.

Glee Christmas Album!!!

Please take note that the previous post was dedicated to the totally venerable holiday known as Thanksgiving. And now . . .

CHRISTMAS!!!

Click HERE to go to a place where you can listen to the entire Glee Christmas album online! It's legal y'all.

Pie and Parades and Pie

As Thanksgiving nears, I find myself thinking more and more about pie. And bread. And cheese covered things. There is another Thanksgiving tradition though- the Macy's parade.

Click HERE to read about a few new attractions the 2010 show will boast- like a Kung Fu Panda balloon and a float dedicated to that stupid thing where you can upload your picture and this website will make you dance around in an elf costume (really).

Oh well, I am old and so am more comforted by the fact that the Kermit balloon will be returning. Click HERE to read a thorough play-by-play of a classic Macy's parade from my youth. (I'm not sure if it was your youth or not).

PIE!

Kendall's Birthday Show!

This week on the show we're celebrating Kendall's 29th birthday! Wow, doesn't he seem so much older? WISDOM-WISE that is!

We've got Things You Should Know, What the Kidz R Saying, and more morbid obesity that you can shake the world's fattest stick at!

Browse Longer!

Itunes is about to TRIPLE the length of its song previews- allowing you to hear 90 seconds of a song instead of the current 30.

That's all- but it is November, so be THANKFUL for that extra minute!