Oh No- We're Not Dead!

No, we are alive! And our show is so dead it's alive!! All "kidding" aside, our show is brand new today. We've got a super secret excellent NEW show coming out on itunes today to follow up our nail-biting two parter about Simple Pleasures.

What could be better than a Saturday in February listening to Cliff and Kendall? (Don't answer that.)

You might be wondering, what does an obese internet show host do on a Saturday? Well, I'll be catching up on the following shows from this week online.

Glee

New Girl

Raising Hope

Modern Family

30 Rock

The Office

Up All Night

There was no new Parks and Recreation this week. Community has still not been rescheduled. BUT- Cougar Town is returning on Tuesday (Valentine's Night!) No, I haven't given up The Office yet, and rumors say Dwight may spin-off and Mindy Kaling (Kelly) may be getting her own show on Fox. Hopefully Dunder Mifflin will be absorbed totally into Sabre and the Scranton branch will shut its doors. And Andy will be put in prison on whatever trumped up charges you can imagine.

SPECIAL NOTE TO KENDALL: Your pal Bradley Whitford is coming to Pawnee! He'll be guesting on Parks and Recreation this season. So there's no better time to join the Leslie Knope bandwagon- you'll love it. It's basically The West Wing as a sitcom.

There's Room For All in Cougar Town

Hey guys! Jake is moving to C-Town with me!

I hate these invasive paparazzi shots, but I had to share proof! While Jake may not be moving into the Cul-de-Sac just yet- can a guest spot be far behind?!? Here he is out with Laurie (or if you prefer, Busy Philipps). Let me guess- they each had a huge glass of wine!!! Let me hope!!!

For the uninitiated, Laurie is Jules' (Courtney Cox) best friend/employee on the big C. And I don't mean "The Big C"- I mean "Cougar Town"!! C-Town is a hilarious show- returning in November or January (Abed and I have our fingers crossed for next month!). And just to let you know, to dispel any myths: Courtney Cox was a cougar for the first 4 episodes and the subsequent 40 episodes have primarily been about she and her friends/neighbors drinking. It's been called the 'most pro-alcohol show on TV!' What else do you need to know?

I hear they are changing the title (which everyone who watches, stars on, or makes the show agrees is bad, bad, bad.) Although! If this Goldie Hawn HBO series "The Viagra Diaries" ever airs- it will handily steal the crown for the most horribly titled show on television. But whatever- C'mon ABC, slap out of it and bring back our Floridian Friends!!!

And My Life Gets WORSE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

But- yes. My number one televised reason for living "30 Rock" is not coming back until mid-season next year!!! That means I have to wait over SEVEN MONTHS before the TGS crew comes back!!

Do the "big-wigged fat cats" at NBC not know how awful my life is?? Granted my other 3 Thursday night shows are coming back in September ("Community," "Parks and Recreation," and a Michael Scott-less "The Office.") And I know this is because of Tina Fey's blessed event, but I can still complain!!!

OHHHH

And is if this weren't bad enough, I literally thought to myself yesterday- "At least my newly found show "Cougar Town" will be back!" WRONG!!! The Cul de Sac Crew will also be gone until mid season!!! Are you fucking kidding me!?!?! (And "Cougar Town" is soooo good, soooo much better than that terrible, terrible, terrible title implies!)

Oh well- "Modern Family," "Glee," and whatever new shows- YOU BETTER BE PRETTY FUCKING GOOD! Until Liz Lemon and Courtney Cox come back!