Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Zac Efron Hypothesis!

In the classic movie "Soapdish," Sally Field plays the star of a daytime drama who occasionally gets a little needy for some love and adoration from her fans. So, when she needs a boost- her unfamous friend (Whoopi) takes her on a trip to the Paramus mall in New Jersey. There, Whoopi pretends to be a gushing fan, which incites other, realer gushing fans to come forth. And soon Sally Field's character is free to bask in the love of her fans, while giving out autographs and kissing babies, etc.

I think Zac Efron does something similar. When he feels down, or eats a whole rice cake instead of his daily allotment of 1/16th of a rice cake and feels fat- he goes to the beach! The beach where he can nonchalantly doff his shirt, where fans rush to look at his abs, where camera phones jump from bags and into the hands of whomever else is on the beach in order to take a pic of his abs. (Or any other rock-solid body part on display).*

And sometimes he brings friends! I think the friends come along when he's especially down about the box office returns of "Charlie St. Cloud," or he's bummed because the release date of whatever Nicolas Sparks movie he just wrapped got bumped until spring. The friends are there because the fans will say things like, "Who are these other lesser hot guys? Did they sing Bet On It in HSM2?-Nope!" "Wow- are those abs real? Are your pecs molded from Quikrete?" "Oh Zac, you have the best beach bod! These other fools pale in comparison!"

What career move do you think Zac should make next? We cannot let his beauty languish in ensemble comedies about New Year's Eve, Nicolas Sparks movies, or in movies about how his farmer dad don't be likin' his race car drivin' career! (These are his next movies!!! Eek!)

*or maybe he just really likes the beach?

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