"Game of Thrones" Season 4, Episode 7. My Take

It's time to head over to the crazy world of Westeros! Please forgive me if I misspell every character's name because I am just not looking that up. Okay- now we start the show with a very long theme song which I think is the right move. Gives you time to go #2, order a pizza, or possibly both at once (Dominos app while you crap). 

We meet the Mountain as he is killing a bunch of people for reasons we don't ask for fear that he's killing people who come up and ask him why he's killing all these people. Then Sircy (the evil Mother of dead'n evil Joffrey) asks Mountain to do her a solid and kill someone- he doesn't even care who it is!!! I HOPE HE DIES SOON. 

Meanwhile up North, Jon Snow is trying to warn that really ugly guy about an impending onslaught of Wildlings and no one will give him the time of day! Why does no one listen to Jon Snow? Is it his naturally curly hair? Are the men at the wall intimidated by it? Speaking of that ugly guy who is always coming down on Jon Snow- I HOPE HE DIES SOON.  

Explaining "Game of Thrones"

For the layman who doesn't know his Little Finger from his Khaleesi, the large number of characters on "Game of Thrones" can be confusing. So, if you're not clear on just what a certain character is all about, below find an explanation of 1/1,000th of the ensemble that makes up "Game of Thrones."

She's the Princess Diana of "Game of Thrones." 

Too bad for her, King Joffrey makes Prince Charles look like Jesus Christ. 

Ouch! Theon is still the Michael Scott of the show, but now he's maybe also the John Wayne Bobbitt. (That did happen, right? I had my hands over my eyes when the knife was taken out).

This dude from north of the wall is obviously the show's Yukon Cornelius. 

(There's probably all kinds of Bumbles running around north of the wall). 

Here we have the Dowager Countess of House Tyrell. 

(Although the real Dowager Countess back at Downton would 

NEVER allow Lady Mary to wed King Joffrey!) 

Arya is a sword-wielding Yentl.

Jamie, aka Kingslayer, is the Lannister version of Sawyer from "Lost." They're similar looking sexy bad boys (although Sawyer didn't have a sister, thankfully). Jamie has also recently become the show's Buster from "Arrested Development." (Not because he loves juice boxes).

Finally, every show should follow "Game of Thrones" lead and get their own Otho from "Beetlejuice."