Happy Birthday Bette Midler!

You know if I had my way, each episode of 'Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast' would be one long love fest dedicated to the most Divine of Miss M's: Bette Midler!!

And today is her birthday- so eat a big Hawaiian slice of birthday cake in honor of the multiple Oscar nominee and one of the greatest entertainers of our time. If you're so nosy: she's 65. But please Bette: DON'T RETIRE!!

Also in birthdays: Happy Birthday to Woody Allen and Sarah Silverman!! Again I ask the Universe- why, oh why was I born a gentile?!?!?

Freezer is a Land of Plenty

Click HERE to read an article about the unexpected uses of your freezer! Like unstinking things and making candles last longer.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Me Want Food!!!!!!!!! And in those gut-busting times to come today, remember the words to the song at the beginning of the Garfield Thanksgiving special: Make your Thanksgiving one long meal, cuz the more you eat- the more thankful you are gonna feel!

No Cake For Me (Anymore)

In a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE turn of events Food Network has turned off the oven on 'Ace of Cakes.' In other words: it's cancelled.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE shows about elaborate cakes and prefer ones with cool-hipster-laid back bakers and not rejects from a 'Sopranos' improv troupe! (Sorry 'Cake Boss!) I will weep as the final season begins in January. WHY FOOD NETWORK?????

I was in love with two bakers on the show- Ben (above) and little Geof. If I had a slice of cake right now, I couldn't even eat it- cuz it would be soaked with tears!!!!!

Blessings Count: 3

Can you believe I found three blessings? Three reasons not only to be thankful over the next week, but also reasons to leave the house?

A CHER movie! (11/24)

A JAKE GYLLENHAAL movie! (11/24)

and HHHAAARRRRRRYYY PPPOOOTTTTTTEEERRR!!!!!!!!! (NOW!)

Give thanks unto the Lord!

New Segment: F.U.

Cliff and Kendall are getting hot and heavy (well, technically they were already heavy)- with their new segment F.U. which stands for F--- University! Enroll for sex tips to spice up your marriage, your domestic partnership, the affair you're having, or even the anonymous sex you're planning for your upcoming trip to the truck stop!

The segment is of course a spin-off of the fan favorite episode from September also entitled "F.U." The segment premieres on this week's Thanksgiving episode.

P.S. Do you need a way to keep your appetite down this holiday season? Just look at the above picture which features Cliff and Kendall dangerously close to scantily clad models in various stages of eroticism!

Barbra, Jerry, Bette

Why oh WHY was I born a gentile?!?!?!?

There was some sort of Jewish gala lately and look at the attendees! I am so very jealous of the carpet these three heroes of mine were standing upon!