When Life Gives You Liz Lemons . . .

So sad this show is going off the air!!!!!! Although I must admit a Universe that allows us 7 seasons of a show this brilliant is a benevolent one indeed.  It's the best comedy of the last ten years (according to one source*), and is my favorite by a wide margin.






I took some pictures of the latest episode like a sad Grampa who doesn't want his baby to go off to college.

Above: Jack on the phone. We both remember when Bravo used to air operas. 

Who will fill the void in my heart when this signs off? Liz is pointing to Leslie Knope (sidenote: NBC, please don't cancel "Parks and Recreation"!!!)

Jack appears as Harriet Tubman in Tracy's dream. 

Liz in the only white dress she owns. She had a wedding dress, but during hurricane Irene she forgot to stock up on toilet paper, but remembered to stock up on seven layer dip. 

Tracy with sunscreen on. 

The totally venerable Tony Bennett cancelled an appearance at the White House as a favor to Jack.

*me

Oh No- We're Not Dead!

No, we are alive! And our show is so dead it's alive!! All "kidding" aside, our show is brand new today. We've got a super secret excellent NEW show coming out on itunes today to follow up our nail-biting two parter about Simple Pleasures.

What could be better than a Saturday in February listening to Cliff and Kendall? (Don't answer that.)

You might be wondering, what does an obese internet show host do on a Saturday? Well, I'll be catching up on the following shows from this week online.

Glee

New Girl

Raising Hope

Modern Family

30 Rock

The Office

Up All Night

There was no new Parks and Recreation this week. Community has still not been rescheduled. BUT- Cougar Town is returning on Tuesday (Valentine's Night!) No, I haven't given up The Office yet, and rumors say Dwight may spin-off and Mindy Kaling (Kelly) may be getting her own show on Fox. Hopefully Dunder Mifflin will be absorbed totally into Sabre and the Scranton branch will shut its doors. And Andy will be put in prison on whatever trumped up charges you can imagine.

SPECIAL NOTE TO KENDALL: Your pal Bradley Whitford is coming to Pawnee! He'll be guesting on Parks and Recreation this season. So there's no better time to join the Leslie Knope bandwagon- you'll love it. It's basically The West Wing as a sitcom.

30 Rock Guest Stars Revealed!

Never one to shy away from guest stars, "30 Rock" (who is not to blame for the "Community" kerfuffle) has announced two guest stars for season 6!

My favorite Flight of the Conchords fan Kristen Schaal is scheduled to appear in multiple episodes of the new season!! This is the best news I can imagine right now! Maybe she can slip Bret and Jemaine in with her? Murray?

And also coming to TGS- the always easy on the eyes James Marsden. Will he date Liz Lemon? Upstage Jack's handsomeness? Ask Jenna to pose as his lover to misdirect the public from his Japanese body pillow fetish?

And My Life Gets WORSE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

But- yes. My number one televised reason for living "30 Rock" is not coming back until mid-season next year!!! That means I have to wait over SEVEN MONTHS before the TGS crew comes back!!

Do the "big-wigged fat cats" at NBC not know how awful my life is?? Granted my other 3 Thursday night shows are coming back in September ("Community," "Parks and Recreation," and a Michael Scott-less "The Office.") And I know this is because of Tina Fey's blessed event, but I can still complain!!!

OHHHH

And is if this weren't bad enough, I literally thought to myself yesterday- "At least my newly found show "Cougar Town" will be back!" WRONG!!! The Cul de Sac Crew will also be gone until mid season!!! Are you fucking kidding me!?!?! (And "Cougar Town" is soooo good, soooo much better than that terrible, terrible, terrible title implies!)

Oh well- "Modern Family," "Glee," and whatever new shows- YOU BETTER BE PRETTY FUCKING GOOD! Until Liz Lemon and Courtney Cox come back!

Public Service Announcement

Here at Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast, we are all about helping people. (It's our favorite part of the job!) And so, herewith, is a Public Service Announcement.

If you are wearing a fanny pack:

Step 1: Admit you are wearing a fanny pack.

Step 2: Take off the fanny pack.

Step 3: Move rapidly toward a waste receptacle.

Step 4: Drop fanny pack into waste receptacle.

Step 5: Move hurriedly away from waste receptacle.

*Repeat with any other fanny packs you may wear/own.

**This works even better if you replace "waste receptacle" with "camp fire".

No Baby for Jenna

For the tens of you out there who were hoping Jenna and her Jenna-impersonating lover would procreate: no dice.

In other words: Jane Krakowski is pregnant, but her "30 Rock" character Jenna will not be. Tina Fey released the statement “At this time, we plan to shoot around Jane’s pregnancy, because no child should have Jenna Maroney for a mother.”

Are we cowabunga on this?

Greatest Christmas Gift #12

For the next 12 days we're going to countdown the Top 12 Christmas Gifts ever given on screen!! Isn't that exciting?!?!? NO? Well, if you don't want to read these xmas gift blurbs just click HERE. I dare you. NO wait, I triple dog dare you!!!!

Okay, now that we've weeded out the naysayers (What is this, Horseville?) we're onto number 12!!!

I chose BOMB THREAT, a gift that Liz Lemon gave Jack last year for Christmas on "30 Rock." You see, his possible girlfriend (Julianne Moore with "Good Will Hunting" accent) was about to leave the city until someone (Liz) called in a bomb threat to Grand Central Station. This prevented her train from leaving the station and enabled Jack to spend some extra time with his "gal." Jack's gift to Liz was also noteworthy: the playbill from her high school version of The Genber-blind Crucible (she was John Proctor) framed in wood from the high school stage itself!

That's what friends are for people!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Me Want Food!!!!!!!!! And in those gut-busting times to come today, remember the words to the song at the beginning of the Garfield Thanksgiving special: Make your Thanksgiving one long meal, cuz the more you eat- the more thankful you are gonna feel!

Right Again!

Last week's "30 Rock" premiere included Liz Lemon's 3 favorite things, and yes- she's right:

Ina Garten

Sweater weather

when Muppets present at awards shows

Live from New York . . . it's The Girlie Show!

The October 14th episode of "30 Rock" will be live! Sounds like fun! That is all.

Steve Carell and Alec Baldwin Are Trying to Ruin My Life

'Sources' confirm that Steve Carell is indeed leaving 'The Office" at the end of the upcoming seventh season, and sources sadly confirm that 'The Office" will not be concluding its run when the STAR of the show awkwardly (I'm guessing) moves from Scranton to work for Kathy Bates full time in Georgia (or something).

This is BAD. I know you know why, I won't even go on- let me just point to 'The X-Files" Mulder-less seasons (and I LOVE Gillian Anderson, she was my favorite always, but still- how do you pick up the pieces when one of the stars, or in Dunder Mifflin's case THE star of the show leaves?) They should really end the show. And I love the show and never want it to end. But more than that I want it to not get BAD. (See also case file #689 "Roseanne's 9th Season Worse than Vietnam War")

And now Alec Baldwin is saying (again) how much he wants to leave (!!!!) "30 Rock"!! He's said it before, but now he points to the end of his contract in 2012 (after season 5 and hypothetical season 6). C'mon NBC execs! Work some magic and get him to give one more year! That would be 7 seasons of Liz and Jack antics- and I believe Tina Fey is smarter than whoever's minding the store at "The Office" and would know when to call it a day, before the show lost one of its MVP's (sports analogy). It's no shame to end a show after 7 years, before the beloved characters get a chance to move away or simply become cartoon-ish parodies of themselves. Evidence:

Shows with seven great seasons:

"The Golden Girls"

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show"

Oscars 2 B Hosted by:

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin

I like it!!

Movie + TV = GOLD

Last year was the summer where every film was the 3rd in some sort of movie franchise ("Pirates 3," "Shrek 3," "Spiderman 3," with the notable exceptions of "Harry Potter 5" and "The Simpsons Movie 1"). But for 2008 Hollywood has found another well of pre-existing and fondly regarded characters: Television.

This means we will be treated to films based on the shows "Sex and the City" and "The X-Files." And I must say I am quite excited about both. I wanna know how many shoes Carrie has bought since '04 and I want to know if the Truth is Still Out There with Mulder and Scully and I'm pretty sure they had a baby together, but since I can't afford the complete series DVD set I'll have to hope for a Sci-fi channel marathon to refresh my memory. (To refresh your memories about these shows click here for: "Sex and the City" and here for "The X-Files."

So in honor of these hotly anticipated (by me) releases, here are some other shows that I want movies made from (with the real characters, not a movie based on the show like "The Beverly Hillbillies" or "Miami Vice.")

"30 Rock"

Obviously the best show on television would be the best movie in the theaters! Imagine this scenario: Jack forces Liz and company to write/produce a new movie for Tracy. There are already plenty of options for what film this could be, from Tracy's proposed Jefferson movie to Phat Bitch 2. Maybe even a sequel to the Rural Juror, but with Tracy edging Jenna out as the star, just like on the show!

"Arrested Development":

This has actually been discussed several places, and is maybe more than a dream for the show's loayal cult. I don' t know what the plot would be, but it would be funny! Bring back Ann!

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show":

Hurry! Mary and company (sadly, minus Ted) have only a few good years left- and what better way to spend them than by shooting "The Mary Tyler Moore Show Movie"? I know they made a TV movie about Mary and Rhoda and it was wonderful, but left so many questions unanswered. Where's Phyllis? Does Lou still work for that newspaper even though he's nearly twenty years past retirement age? Is Sue Ann still a sexpot since she's now an octogenarian? Is Murray dead? Tell us Mare!!

"Strangers with Candy":

I know they already made a movie too, and a theatrical release nonetheless. And even though it was good- they deserve another shot. If there was ever a show that could be the next show-turned-movie-turned-film-series (like "Star Trek") it is "Strangers with Candy." C'mon, Jerri Blank lights up the screen!

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer":

Following in the tradition of movies-turned-musicals-turned-back-into-movies, "Buffy" is a show that was a movie turned show that should go movie again! The fans are still rabid, and hankering for another trip back to Sunnydale (nevermind that when we left it, Sunnydale was nothing but a large crater). And what with crash diets and special effects, Angel and Spike could look really close to not a day older than when we met them. I think we need to know if Cordelia is still a god, Willow is still a lesbian, and if Anya is still dead.

"The Golden Girls":

Of course some zing would be gone now that Sophia is no longer able to be in the film. It could be dedicated to her though, and would still assuredly be the highest grossing film of all time. People would line up weeks before the release, dressed as their favorite Girl in shoulder padded pastel suits. People love funny old broads!! It's true, just looks at uh, "The Golden Girls"! It was the original "Sex and the City" and still holds up today as it did then. Hurry Hollywood- the clock is ticking!

Honky Grandma Be Trippin'

Things are looking up for TV viewers everywhere! Prepare to do the robot backwards towards your TV set tonight, as "30 Rock" returns to the air with the first of 5 new episodes!

New Episode on the way!!!

"Oprah Winfrey Presents Cliff and Kendall's Favorite Things," or something like that, will soon be up on the airwaves. Or internet waives or something like that. Is there an 'i' in waives? Or am I thinking of waivers? Nevermind.

In this episode recorded last night, and being edited currently by Kendall, we discuss our favorite things (obviously).

Here's a sampling:

Cliff's:
30 Rock
Fiber One Bars
and ??????????????????????

Kendall's:
e-mails from listeners
dentistry
and ??????????????????????

You'll have to listen to find out more!!

And also, Cliff mentioned his (non)songwriting career.
Here's the song spoken about on the podcast, "harry potter scarf." Listen at your own risk!