2014 Excellence Award: Best TV, Best Actress, Best Everything

Hello, hello, hello! There was NOTHING better on TV this year (or any year probably) than the comeback of "The Comeback" on HBO. This show is somehow incredibly funny while also being as riveting as any drama out there. I cannot look away! 

I am getting pre-pissed off that Lisa Kudrow will be passed over for an Emmy- (and that 'Modern Family' will steal the Comedy Series award away too!) while I stand firm in my assertion that THIS IS THE BEST PERFORMANCE EVER GIVEN ON TELEVISION. And that Valerie Cherish is one of the greatest characters ever created. 

I just can't overemphasize the brilliance of both seasons of this show!! There aren't enough EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, JUST WOW!!!!!!!!! How about that finale!!?!?!?! Nearly weeping thinking about it!!!!!!!! 

For more on "The Comeback,"  read this article which gets it just about right: "Give Lisa Kudrow ALL the awards" 

2014 Excellence Award: Best TV (Daytime)

She's BACK baby! (Let's hope she STAYS baby!) I think Rosie's in for the long haul, and I pray to the TV gods that she is, for every day "The View" acts as a Hot Topics-filled balm to my soul! And you gotta give it up, cuz all 4 ladies are truly great! Whoopi and Rosie together on daytime everyday! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

Also, fireworks constantly as every news item is incredibly controversial and elicits so many opposing views! For all this a more- The View wins the Excellence Award for Best TV (Daytime)! 

2014 Excellence Award: Best Music

Only minutes before the year ended, Madonna was forced to release 6 songs from her upcoming album due to the acts of some heinous hackers. Luckily for all involved the six songs were better than any other songs released in 2014 and so they captured the Excellence Award at the last second! 

I also want to go ahead an pre-give the 2015 Excellence Award for Best Album to Madonna's "Rebel Heart" (since its win is obvious already). Pre-order now and get 6 tracks! I only wish the physical cd were out already so I could do a signing at Hanky's Books and Bait! #unapologeticbitch #livingforlove #bitchimmadonna 

2014 Excellence Award: Best Podcast

Some may consider it gauche to give the award to yourself, but to those people I would say, "You must not have heard this award worthy podcast!" If the Peabody committee refuses to acknowledge genius, then we will do it our own damn selves! 

Don't tell me you missed the big Xmas special??? Don't worry, it will be rerun into the ground for years. Yes this podcast really put out 50+ excellent shows in 2014, so SUCK IT SERIAL, this is the show for the ages! Just wait and see which show our future alien overlords prefer! 

2014 Excellence Awards: Best Internet Thing

Hulu counts as internet right? In any case, ELVIRA the one and only queen of Halloween returned to skewer a new batch of old movies for 13 episodes! For this she earns the 2014 Excellence Award for Best Internet Thing! 

Can Elvira's return be a yearly thing? Can this be a monthly thing? Can Elvira get her own daily talk show? Can there be a channel that shows nothing but things with Elvira in them? (For that I'd pay the unholy gods of cable TV the blood sacrifices they demand). 

2014 Excellence Awards: Acting in a Motion Picture

Obviously it goes to Jake Gyllenhaal in "Nightcrawler"! If you've not seen it I don't even want to talk. Jake is a crazy, cookoo freelance video journalist with no scruples! 

How many Oscars should Jake win for "Nightcrawler"? 

New Show - A Very Hillbilly Willy Christmas!

We're terrified this holiday season by a certain demon possessed pig farmer!! Who knew he could turn up in his off-season? 

Feel the fear and the cheer in "Hillbilly Willy 7: A Very Hillbilly Willy Christmas*"! Listen in the box over on the right or download from jolly old iTunes. 

*full title for future Smithsonian archivists

Newsflash

I just found my spirit animal. It's John Candy as Divine. 

These are screen shots from a Christmas episode of "SCTV" which can be found on youtube. That's Catherine O'Hara on the left of me up there. Put watching this on your holiday MUST list- if you're anyone who knows anything!!! 

Happy Holidays. 

Binge Listen to the Show! Halloween Edition!

It's Halloween on Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast!

You're invited to our Halloween season! Oh yeah, there's a party in there somewhere. You can take a listen below or subscribe on iTunes! 

Also, did you miss:

Binge Listen to the Show! Birthday Edition #1

FACT: There are more birthdays in the next week of the year than any other week!!!***

So in honor of that fact, here's a batch of birthday shows to binge listen to! Slice yourself off some birthday cake and binge away! 

Joan Rivers on Carol Burnett, 1974

(HEART EMOJIS)

Forever Joan

This really hurts (and fuckin sucks.)

(Show from Feb. 2012)

Think Happy

Remember all those times we told you to think positive?? Well, this is like that distilled into a meme. There are horrors in life, but there are also positives . . . 

Da-Bowel Exposure

What!?!?!?

When Your Friends Won't Listen . . .

Weather Note

I hate this Busheltown weather!!!

Elvira in Best Video Since "Vogue"

I hope I embedded the player correctly above, because the Mistress of the Dark herself ELVIRA is in the new Ryan Adams video called "Gimme Something Good." And it's good! I say it's the best video since "Vogue" simply because it is the EXACT video I would make if the record industry ever healed enough to offer me a recording contract (except with me in it and not Ryan Adams).

Happy Augmas

We've got a brand new holiday that's about to sweep the nation: Augmas! It's got everything you could want: gifts, carols, decorated palm trees, ice cream cakes, hanging flip flops, intense heat, humidity, and binge eating! 

Listen to our new show about this second most wonderful time of the year! I'll even embed it below in case you can't figure out how to work the podcast player on the right or the many buttons that would direct you to iTunes. 

John Goodman is Feeling . . .

TV Talk

The best thing about having HBO isn't the 250 times a week you can catch Vince Vaughn in "The Internship," but the random grab bag of movies that come on at 5 in the morning. 

From "A Very Brady Sequel" to "Spawn" to Owen Wilson in "The Internship," HBO has the hits! 

Look "The Internship" isn't so bad, it's got this guy from "Teen Wolf" 💝💝💝💝.

***Unrelated: did you see Regis cohost with Kathie Lee last week? It was a blessing from the Tao! 

I Know You Know

You Know the Feeling

Barbra on Instagram

Barbra Streisand has at last joined Instagram!! She's already making me mad at her for being on a diet while I gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain and gain. But, oh well. 

See the cupcakes Barbra's on-site pastry chef whipped up one August morn? 

If you need more Barbra than even Barbra herself can give you, follow "barbramemes" on instagram. They've got Barbra + sassy quotes and they are so good at expressing just how I often feel inside. 

With one look she can break your heart! Click below for more great Barbra memes! 

Binge Listen to the Show! Summer Edition

It's hot and you need a pool! Unfortunately you can't afford to do anything but sit in your one bedroom apartment above a fish hatchery and listen to a bunch of podcasts in a row!

What to download? "This American Life"? Too emotional! "Car Talk"? Too many blown carburetors! "Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast" it is!! BINGE Listen below to some super summer episodes from this summer and a few sepia-toned summers of yore:


Follow Cliff, Kendall, Mrs. Potterbutter Butterchurn, and Mr. Snodbottom on each of their ACTION-PACKED summer vacations!


Cliff and Kendall are forced to push "Busheltown Sobriety Week" and Delores makes her first polarizing appearance!


Everybody loves a good lawyer, right? Cool off in nothing but your legal briefs as you enjoy this episode.


Who can recall why we let Charles the Contractor produce an episode? Anybody?

After a show when Cliff and Kendall are forced to salute George W. Bush (250), the fat hosts revolt and do a show about their favorite things Bette Midler and Magic (251).

Why Does This Hurt?

IT DOES HURT!! I wanted to somehow bare that child and now my "boy-varies" won't ever get the chance. (Remember in ten years that I coined the phrase boyvaries, referring to a boy's ovaries.)

Let Freedom Ring

Couch Hunting

I'm thinking of buying a new sofa and I found myself drawn to the brown leather one in this photo. Now I don't really like the idea of leather, but maybe some kind of synthetic would do. An ottoman would also be a nice touch. 

The Late 90's as told by "Daria" Stills

Remember "Daria" from MTV's late 90's period? Yes or No- here we go: It's the 90's refracted through the lens of these screen shots of "Daria" (lalalala you're standing on my neck, etc.) First observation: 9 out of 10 shows on TV are some version of "Sick Sad World." 

Daria's sister Quinn was using a laptop not to go online, but to use one of those magic computer programs that let's you see what someone's head looks like on different outfits. 

JANE IS ON A PAYPHONE. 

Quick Variety Post

**This post was created to clear all these pics off my desktop**

Okay- up there? Yes! It is Our Lady of Broadcast Comedians: Kathy Griffin! This is from her episode of the classic Comedy Central cartoon series, "Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist." Every episode of "Dr. Katz" is on youtube and there are many big name guest stars! 

There's only one problem with One Direction, and it's that some of them are not Harry. 

I just really liked this picture. 

A still from "Dr. Katz"- just to commemorate the act of dubbing videos with 2 VCRs- wipe away the tears as you recall doing this!! 

THE END

"Beetlejuice" Season 4, Episode 1. My Take

Okay, so let's talk about the Beetlejuice animated series. Would a situation like this happen today: a kinda scary hit movie that has the F word in it is turned into a kid's cartoon show that runs for several seasons. Would it???

Anyway, I think this entire episode ("You're History") takes place entirely in the Netherworld. (Or Neitherworld, whichever it is). Lydia is nowhere to be seen! The show begins with this monster guy watching TV. (Satire?) I'd forgotten about him, but now I know I never will. He does have at least one eye because it popped out when he got super angry a few moments later. 

He was watching his favorite show: Netherworld's Funniest Fatalities (How does this not come on Tru TV?) and it was interrupted by who but Beetlejuice! You see he's flooding the airwaves with his own show!