"Beetlejuice" Season 4, Episode 1. My Take

Okay, so let's talk about the Beetlejuice animated series. Would a situation like this happen today: a kinda scary hit movie that has the F word in it is turned into a kid's cartoon show that runs for several seasons. Would it???

Anyway, I think this entire episode ("You're History") takes place entirely in the Netherworld. (Or Neitherworld, whichever it is). Lydia is nowhere to be seen! The show begins with this monster guy watching TV. (Satire?) I'd forgotten about him, but now I know I never will. He does have at least one eye because it popped out when he got super angry a few moments later. 

He was watching his favorite show: Netherworld's Funniest Fatalities (How does this not come on Tru TV?) and it was interrupted by who but Beetlejuice! You see he's flooding the airwaves with his own show! 

"Game of Thrones" Season 4, Episode 7. My Take

It's time to head over to the crazy world of Westeros! Please forgive me if I misspell every character's name because I am just not looking that up. Okay- now we start the show with a very long theme song which I think is the right move. Gives you time to go #2, order a pizza, or possibly both at once (Dominos app while you crap). 

We meet the Mountain as he is killing a bunch of people for reasons we don't ask for fear that he's killing people who come up and ask him why he's killing all these people. Then Sircy (the evil Mother of dead'n evil Joffrey) asks Mountain to do her a solid and kill someone- he doesn't even care who it is!!! I HOPE HE DIES SOON. 

Meanwhile up North, Jon Snow is trying to warn that really ugly guy about an impending onslaught of Wildlings and no one will give him the time of day! Why does no one listen to Jon Snow? Is it his naturally curly hair? Are the men at the wall intimidated by it? Speaking of that ugly guy who is always coming down on Jon Snow- I HOPE HE DIES SOON.  

"Goosebumps" Season 1, Episode 15. My Take

We're talking scary stuff today with "Goosebumps"! And how ironic is it (is it?) for a show called GOOSEbumps to feature none other than future Hollywood Superstar Ryan GOSLING!?!?

This history making episode involves young Ryan and a group of his pals finding a strange camera that takes photos that not only tell the future, but cause it to be bad! 

In this shot, Ryan is looking at a photo he took of his annoying friend right before he fell off a stair case! Funny thing was, the photo foretold it all! Hence Ryan's incredulity! (Friend not pictured due to his annoying aura) But wait, there's more . . . 

"Tales From the Darkside" Season 1, Episode 9. My Take

Meet Grandpa- he's got the titular "Case of the Stubborns" that makes for the plot of this 1984 episode of "Tales From the Darkside." If you don't recognize the actor playing stubborn old grandpa, it's Eddie Bracken who once famously gave Kevin McCallister a pair of turtle dove Christmas ornaments, when Kev was Lost in New York. 

Anyway, the real star power is on display here in the form of fifteen year old Christian Slater! I love how these old anthology shows are always so star studded! That's one reason we need to bring them back, but that's just my take. 

Oh yeah, the story: Seems Grandpa died last night but the old coot is so damn stubborn he won't lay down and leave everyone else the hell alone! But wait, there's more, including a Star Trek superstar . . . 

"The Brady Bunch" Season 5, Episode 16. My Take

The Brady's never really had a Halloween episode, but this episode (called Out of this World) from the final season is kind of spooky. For the purposes of this post let's all agree aliens are spooky and on-topic in terms of the Halloween season. The show starts with Peter (Who lost a bet with Jan and had to wear that outfit as punishment) and Bobby getting autographs from some well known astronaut and alien-believer-in. 

And damned if Peter and Bobby weren't stargazing that night and out the window what did they spy?? It was a cherry red flying saucer straight from galaxies beyond! 

"Holy fudge, Bobby! Did you see that UFO???" 

"Don't swear Pete!"

WAIT THERE'S MORE!

"The Brady Bunch" Season 5, Episode 22. My Take

It's graduation time in the Brady household! Everyone is excited to see the oldest Brady son enter that next phase of life: nailing college chicks! 

One of my all time favorite people, Alice looks on proudly. She's thinking of the sunrises, sunsets, how it all goes round and round in the circle game, etc. Oh Alice! But that's not all . . .

"The Muppet Show" Season 4, Episode 17. My Take

Yes, this 1980 "Muppet Show" (on youtube HERE, but NOT on DVD!) featured the Stars of "Star Wars"! Don't hold your breath for Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, or Yoda, but we do get Mark Hamill, C3PO, and R2D2. They've busted into the Muppets' studio in search of Chewbacca of all things! 

The invasion from a galaxy far, far away is okay with Kermit. This scotsman (who gargles Gershwin) was set to host, but Kermit feels the "Star" stars might be better for ratings. But that's not all . . . 

"Mama's Family" Season 4, Episode 5. My Take

Mama is in rare form tonight! She's on the warpath from the get-go and is taking no shit!

Even Bubba can't bat his lashes and get away with borrowing the car for a date that night. Mama suggests he take the girl to the movies on his scooter. She's evidently blind to the geometric fact that you can't bone on the back of a scooter (at a crowded drive-in). We don't know why Mama is so royally pissed and we don't need to know why- she's MAMA! But that's not all . . . 

"Tales From The Crypt" Season 6, Episode 1. My Take

I'd forgotten how long the intro to "Tales From the Crypt" was! It rivals only the theme song of "Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast" in length, BUT when "Tales" at long last begins, the viewer is met with someone far thinner! It's the Cryptkeeper himself, and he's not only skinnier- he's also got better hair this week than Cliff and/or Kendall! DAMMIT!

Before my jealousy of the Cryptkeeper's tiny waistline could develop into full blown rage, the story begins. "Let the Punishment Fit the Crime" stars the #1 talent Catherine O'Hara as a lawyer of the ambulance chasing variety. Catherine the lawyer is stuck in a place pronounced 'Styxville' and the residents are kinda prickly. She may have just been brought in by police on charges pertaining to her license plate, but she's going after this guy in a cast. She thinks he might have a case! She gives him her card, but he wheels away before she could land him. But that's not all . . . 

"Out of This World" Season 1, Episode 10. My Take

It had been so long since I'd seen this show! I don't know if it's the only episode of the amazing "Out of This World" on youtube, but you can watch this one (Baby Talk) HERE.  Doesn't Dad look great in that shot above?

It's funny how much comes back to you when you see these old episodes, even though it's probably been 25 years since I've seen this one. I feel like I'm already in my cold, cold grave. The episode starts out with Donna exercising with the Cliff and Kendall of his time- Uncle Beano. Beano is so much like Cliff and Kendall that he uses sandwiches as barbells and takes a bite with every rep! Cliff and Kendall would do that too if they worked out! But that's not all . . . 

"Small Wonder" Season 4, Episode 20. My Take

Whoa! Technology in the 80's, right!?! As a kid I was a big fan of "ALF" and "Small Wonder" and so wanted two things: an alien best friend and a robot best friend (the universe gave me Kendall). I wanted a robot like Vicki, the walking-talking example of artificial intelligence that usually wore a maid's uniform. 

From the back, Vicki looked like Teddy Ruxpin when you were changing his batteries. The fun begins in this episode when Dad gives Vicki some kind of upgrade. And if you thought Vicki would be useful before . . .

Now she can converse with animals! And converse she does! But that's not all . . . 

"The Brady Bunch" Season 4, Episode 15. My Take

The show may have been called "The Brady Bunch," but this episode belongs to Greg Brady, who was 18 when this episode aired in 1973. It must be a blessing and a curse for Barry Williams to have his white hot youth (when he was really hot and really white) captured forever on film and HERE on youtube. 

This is the famed "exact words" episode (or it should be famed!) that sees Greg Brady pitted against his parents in a battle of, you guessed it: exact words! The epic struggle begins when Bobby innocently enough drops the bombshell that Greg was distracted while driving (a very 2013 problem to have). Greg wasn't tweeting to his friends though, he was looking at the back of a new record album (back to 1973! OMG this episode is 40 years old! Kill me now!) Then Greg Gets Grounded!

Okay, my will to live has been restored thanks to Greg Brady adamantly defending himself. The defense doesn't work though. He may be a teen heart-throb, but he's still grounded from driving the family car for a week! Dammit, he was going to go buy some rock tickets (probably Deep Purple or Grand Funk Railroad)!! But that's not all . . . 

"Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown" My Take

This 1985 "Peanuts" special finds everyone's favorite beagle getting hitched! Yep, 20 years after "A Charlie Brown Christmas" Snoopy finally found the one. 

It began, like many great love stories, with a girl (Peppermint Patty) borrowing a "watch dog" (Snoopy)  one night when her father was out of town. Trouble was- this watch dog ran off in the middle of the night! 

Peppermint Patty insisted that "Chuck" take on the responsibility of watch dog. You can't blame her- she was alone and I seem to remember, that in 1985 Freddy and Jason were slashing people left and right! Charlie Brown declined the dog collar but then . . . 

. . . lost all dignity by accepting a bone. Hey, it was late. He was tired. 

But that's not all . . .

"Designing Women" Season 3, Episode 1. My Take

This episode of the other 80s-90s sitcom that featured four incredibly talented actresses playing four wise-cracking women finds our leading ladies on vacation. (Technically, "Designing Women" starred seven incredibly talented actresses as leads- just not at the same time.) In the shot above, our heroines from Atlanta pay unconscious homage to their predecessor "The Golden Girls." But this pajama breakfast comes later. 

The story starts with our ladies arriving at the condo of Julia's boyfriend (Mark Twain, above). All the women designers have brought their men along, except Suzanne. Suzanne had no man to bring and her pet pig she left with Anthony. 

This is her giving a great speech about being alone and how everyone else can cram it. Suzanna Sugarbaker owned this episode- whenever she wasn't onscreen I was thinking, "What is Suzanne doing? Where is Suzanne?" Personal note: DELTA IT'S NOT TOO LATE! YOU CAN STILL HAVE A COMEBACK! CALL RYAN MURPHY! But that's not all . . . 

"Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Season 5, Episode 3. My Take

Immediate confession: I chose this out of all the great AYAOTD episodes for one reason and that reason's name is RYAN GOSLING. But he's coming up.

The show begins with this Cliff-and-Kendall-looking character auditioning for the Midnight Society. He's apparently tried before and his stories were 11pm caliber at best- but this is Midnight we're talkin' here! So he's lined up some amazing talent for his tale of teen terror!

Yep, baby Ryan Gosling plays the older brother to the protagonist of today's story. Ryan's younger brother has seen "Harold and Maude" too many times and is obsessed with his own death. Ryan's younger brother is constantly playing "funeral" etc. Wore black a lot. You know the type! 

Ryan, however, was everyone's idea of a perfect son. Blond, loved baseball, and works on cars just for fun! No wonder the younger bro turned out weird- who could live up to being Ryan's younger brother?!?! But that's not all . . .

"Mr. Belvedere" Season 4, Episode 4. My Take

Youtube tells us that this episode is titled "Martha's Job." Wikipedia tells us that Mom (a vision in khaki, above) actually goes by the name of Marsha. Go figure! Anyway, this episode is ostensibly about Marsha getting a job as a lawyer, but as a fat man I am far more interested in the the real meat of the story: Mr. Belvedere goes on a diet!! 

We open on Mr. Belvedere being berated yet again by the youngest Owens, Wesley. It seems Mr. B has eaten the last cupcake. Then we learn that Mr. B's always doing stuff like this- then to prove a point- Mr. B eats all the leftover pizza that everyone in the house wanted for breakfast. This prompts a showdown in which Mr. B vows to lose weight or die trying. But that's not all . . . 

"Muppet Babies" Season 6, Episode 7. My Take

This "Muppet Babies" episode starts with Gonzo (dressed as Liberace, above) imagining his own version of a 'pimp my ride' situation with Rowlf's dump truck. 

The beginning of the show featured lots of fantasies, and just as I started thinking, "Maybe I forgot this was the kind of show that didn't have a plot," the plot kicked in. It seems all the other Muppet Babies (the ones that aren't Gonzo) are P.O.'d at Gonzo for his disregard for safety- and they let him know it in no uncertain terms! Above many MB's are angry, but baby Fozzie is perplexed and baby Kermit is just more disappointed than anything else. 

Immediately following that big mob scene, Gonzo decides to really show them how awesome he can be by doing a dangerous stunt. His stuffed Camilla doll is an unwitting accomplice. But that's not all . . .

"The Facts of Life" Season 7, Episode 1. My Take

The fact is life took an unexpected turn for the ladies of "The Facts of Life" in between season six and seven. It seems Mrs. Garrett's shop Edna's Edibles has burned down! But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

The episode begins on a train. The girls are catching up after a summer apart. My guess would be they all spent the summer having their hair enlarged. (Above, Tootie and Natalie sit beside one of Buffy's high school principals). 

Of course the wealthiest character had the biggest hair: Blair (who spent the summer shopping) wins the crown for largest coiffure- although she'll have to hold the crown because her hair's so big it'd never fit. But that's not all . . .