Must We Eat Horses Now?

Are we that hungry?!?!??! Blorch HERE.

If my friend Flicka and Black Beauty are today's special, WTF IS NEXT?!?!?

Greatest Christmas Gift #5

Christmas 1989. The Simpsons Christmas Special. The day after it aired the world was forever changed.

And so was the Simpson family- with no Christmas bonus (Thanks Mr. Burns!) and the sudden loss of the big jar that held Marge's Christmas savings (Thanks Bart!) there was no money left for gifts. Homer, feeling so ashamed, went to do the shopping. He chose some great stuff- pads of paper for Bart, a squeeze pork chop for Maggie, panty hose for Marge (practical and alluring).

But the real gift came in the form of a down on his luck racing dog: SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER. It was a twist of fate, a chance meeting, but what began that snowy Christmas Eve at the dog track, is still going strong today. A boy and his dog- through thick and thin, even though Santa's Little Helper has been brain washed into being an attack dog for Mr. Burns, given away to a blind man during the whole "Laddie Debacle," and countless other wacky adventures- he's still man's best friend!

Not sure that last paragraph made sense. I'll just say that Homer brought home the dog sort of coincidentally and the family was very pleased. A merry Christmas was had by all.

These Are Your Nuggets

The above photo is of a wet-food-stuff that fills your chicken nuggets and chicken patties. I always loved them as a child. And though it's pretty darn nasty, if I still ate meat I don't think I'd care. I care more about them being tortured, living lives of constant pain, and then being killed in a manner so grisly it is better suited to a "Saw" movie.

Click HERE for more on the above photo (if you blorch, don't say we didn't warn you!)

Jellyfish Attack!!!

THIS story is terrifying!!! A 10 year old girl was stung, not just stung- ENVELOPED- by a box jellyfish and lived to tell the tale!!

She's a Beyonce-level Survivor!

News Brief!

Why don't chimps get alzheimer's?? READ here!

Texting will cause your kids lives 2 be ruined!! READ here!!

Something stupid still happens. READ here!

Something else stupid. HERE

Relief for ME. Relief for YOU???

Sad!!

Everyone loves horses!!! And Kendall and I are no exception!!

Click HERE if you want to read some very SAD horse news!

After that you may need a PICK ME UP.

This is REAL!!!

We all know some animals are just MONSTERS (and though we should not eat them) they are here on earth for the sole reason of frightening us: bears, alligators, crocodiles, and such. 

But the above Goblin Shark is one of the scariest I've ever seen!!! I don't want to be mean to it, but if I ran into in a dark canal I would swim the other way!!! Terror in the water!

Click HERE to read more about one of God's more fascinating and horrifying creatures. 

Sheep in the Woods

She's not just "Flight of the Conchords" only fan. 

Best Performances of '08

In our next podcast Kendall and I carefully dissect every moment of 2008, but we neglected to say our favorite performances of the year.

Needless to say, Heath Ledger's Joker was the best thing since . . . Jack Nicholson's Joker at the very least. When he was not on screen I constantly thought "Where's Joker?? What's Joker doing? Has anyone seen the Joker??" just like I always do for Poochy the rockin' dog. In fact, during the entirety of "Eagle Eye" I was wondering what the old Joker was up to.

Meryl Streep is GOD! She can do anything! "Doubt" is enjoyable for everyone's performances but "Streep is the new Messiah" will be on my Christmas cards next year! "I have such . . . doubts!!!!!" No DOUBT about it she's the entertainer of the millenium.

Was there a funnier person on screen in double-naught-eight than James Franco in "Pineapple Express"? No, dude!!! Spark up a doobie and watch some weird shit in Youtube until next week when the movie hits dvd! A++

Tina Fey is to thank for Obama!!! Yes SHE Can!!! I'm sorry Sarah Palin will be buried under a snow drift for the next 100 years for only one reason: no more Tina Fey as Sarah Palin!

The Bird Carrie wore on her head in her first attempt at marrying Big easily fits in with my top 3 birds of all time (the other two being Woodstock and Channel 4's Snowbird). Best Bird/Hair Ornament/Conversation Piece of the decade!!!

What were your faves???

It's time for 2 Cliff and Kendall Cartoons!

**click for larger**

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall Cartoon!

**click for larger view**

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**

Bush Wants More Extinct Varmints

Click HERE to read a Time Magazine story about our zany President and that wacky group of officials he works with, and how they are trying to change to the Endangered Species laws.

I say "Hooray!" Who the hell needs animals??? Not me! I'm a vegetarian. I ain't eatin' 'em so let's shoot them all and wear 'em!

And who needs nature? Fuck Wilderness!! Haven't you seen the bumper sticker on my SUV? It says 'Fuck Wilderness!' It even has an exclamation point! That's how much the Idiot in Chief and I want you to get aroused and stick your meat wand into wilderness!!

Monsters Inc.

A weird turtle/pig/eagle hybrid has washed ashore in New York! For real! Click HERE for video!

The creature is pretty strange and right out of a Harry Potter book- although its more dead than magical unfortunately.

Holy Face All Over the Place

Boy you just can't take a piss without bumpin' your nut on an apparition of Jesus' face these days! It's all over the place, from kitty fur to Cheetos. I guess really those two places is all. Find out about them here:

KITTEN FUR

CHEETO

Also- the photo above contains a "special visitor"- can you find Him????

it's time for a Bugs Bunny cartoon!

Sheep Thinks It's People!

Click HERE to learn all about one UK family who knows what to do when things get "wooly!"

This family doesn't know the meaning of "black sheep"! You might even say they live with a big huge ram in the house and treat it like one of the family!

Warning: Extensive Heart-Warming May Occur

A red panda, cast aside by its cruel and heartless mother was adopted by a cat (who was presumably barren or a lesbian). Isn't that sweet? Read about the good news HERE

On a Lonely Georgia Road . . .

Someone found a pile of toothless sharks! This is pretty terrible, from an animal POV. Although I don't want to hug a shark, I figure they shouldn't be hunted and have all their teeth pulled out and then dumped on the side of a road. Pretty bad stuff- read about it HERE

McCain Beats Obama!

Click HERE to read about one way Grandpa McCain has trumped his rival Senator Obama.

Hint: People who like old bitches prefer McCain!

**Editor's Note: I love old bitches!! But the kind I prefer are below.**