Oh Gavel, Gavel: Favorite TV Lawyers

One last word on the most talked about episode of Cliff and Kendall: Coast 2 Coast ever! (Don't believe me? Scroll down bitch (as Jesse Pinkman would say). The last 3 posts on this very blog have been about that lawyer show! That's 4 more posts than 250+ episodes of our show ever got!

Anyhow- of the many mistakes made by the crew on the show (see below, also hear in the show just how Charles the Contractor screwed us over YET AGAIN!) there was one more: I forgot to mention my favorite TV lawyer ever (okay edit one of my 2 favorite TV lawyers) Saul Goodman from "Breaking Bad!" He's one of the most amazing characters ever- a cartoonish goofball thrown into the bleakest show possible and it blends and it makes all series without Saul Goodman seem worthless. It also lightens the heavy, meth-laden atmosphere of "Breaking Bad" making the show all the more incredible.

And yes PLEASE DO THE SPINOFF PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! 

Okay and second favorite TV lawyer: How could I forget Lionel Hutz!?! Voiced by the late great Phil Hartman, Lionel Hutz was the lawyer who represented the Simpson family in many 90's era court cases. He gave free smoking monkeys to clients and at one time worked at "I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm" in the Springfield Mall.

He's the best.  

He was also a bit of a jack-of-all trades, as he (like Homer) tried out a few other careers in addition to his day-job. Memorably he babysat for the Simpsons with a promise of popsicles in the freezer. 

"Office A-Ha Moment"

So I was innocently watching "The Office" this week and suddenly a Sabre printer blew up over my head. Heretofore I had experienced complete disequilibrium when I thought of "The Office" and its legacy. My mind couldn't make sense of how the show could go on- minus the effin' STAR OF THE SHOW. But! As I sank into this week's episode-the 2nd in new boss Andy's regime-it hit me!

"The Office" will no longer be thought of as 100% great. Shows like "Seinfeld" or "I Love Lucy" were pretty excellent throughout their runs. And it took me this long to see that our beloved Dunder Mifflin employees now belong to another club. Not a bad club- indeed some of the greatest shows ever belong to it- but a different club.

There is a line in a Toby Keith (!) song on country radio right now that goes: I ain't as good as I once was . . . And that's what I'll call the different club. Not that the shows got terrible or unwatchable- just not as good as they once was. Members of this club include:

"Designing Women" featured a somewhat similar shift from really good to meh when stars Delta Burke and Jean Smart left. The new designers never really measured up.

"Roseanne" went downhill when our working class heroes won the lottery.

When "The Simpsons" (I hate to use the phrase 'jumped the shark'-but what else fits?) depends on who you ask- look in your heart and you'll know.

BUT!!! A-Ha moment conclusion: The upside is even if the show's evolutions leave you sour enough to eventually stop watching, oftentimes in syndication these second tier episodes grow on you. You've seen all the "best ones" over and over and so you relent and watch. And they ain't half bad! I began to appreciate Jan Hooks, Julia Duffy, and whoever played B.J. when "Designing Women" ran late on Nick at Nite. Similar situation with "Roseanne"- and well, I still like "The Simpsons." Will there ever be another Monorail-level episode? Doubt it- but who could ask for more than one?

And so I think the same will go for "The Office." Now that I have the correct mindset, I think I can handle Andy's managerial status (as they really seem to be sticking with that decision-really guys?)

Thus endeth this treatise on whatever it was I was writing about.

They'll Never Stop "The Simpsons"

Thank GOD! There is one vestige of my childhood still on the air: The Simpsons! And with the annual pop culture/nerdlinger festival in San Diego- the show's producers were recently chatting about the upcoming 23rd season and distant future. Click HERE to read 10 new things about the Universe's favorite yellow family.

A few noteworthy notes:

- this year's Christmas episode travels 30 years into the future! Imagine Bart at 40!

- Tim and Eric (another hilarious and overweight duo) are guest stars in the upcoming season

- you can vote HERE to decide whether Edna Krabbapel and Ned Flanders should become a permanent couple

- there will be (a whole episode?) devoted to the 1,000+ year life of Moe's bar rag

There's still life in the old girl yet!

Hair Post

Also, as I watched "The Office" last night- I became very jealous of Jim's hair. Bald men will do sad things like that. Pick up old Barbie dolls from Goodwill and stroke their straw-like locks, now matted with gum and grime. Jealously wishing . . .

Anyway- Jim's hair did remind me of "The Simpsons" Halloween show where Homer wore a toupee made from Snake's hair after he was executed and then Homer goes crazy. I believe the segment was called "Hell Toupee." Gosh, for a cartoon, Snake had some great hair too. Hair someone might . . . kill for . . .

Simpsons Porn Parody

Yes, this exists and is very safe for work. Say it with me now: D'OH!

Greatest Christmas Gift #5

Christmas 1989. The Simpsons Christmas Special. The day after it aired the world was forever changed.

And so was the Simpson family- with no Christmas bonus (Thanks Mr. Burns!) and the sudden loss of the big jar that held Marge's Christmas savings (Thanks Bart!) there was no money left for gifts. Homer, feeling so ashamed, went to do the shopping. He chose some great stuff- pads of paper for Bart, a squeeze pork chop for Maggie, panty hose for Marge (practical and alluring).

But the real gift came in the form of a down on his luck racing dog: SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER. It was a twist of fate, a chance meeting, but what began that snowy Christmas Eve at the dog track, is still going strong today. A boy and his dog- through thick and thin, even though Santa's Little Helper has been brain washed into being an attack dog for Mr. Burns, given away to a blind man during the whole "Laddie Debacle," and countless other wacky adventures- he's still man's best friend!

Not sure that last paragraph made sense. I'll just say that Homer brought home the dog sort of coincidentally and the family was very pleased. A merry Christmas was had by all.

Simpsons to go on 4EVER!

And I don't care what the haters say: This is good news! 

So what if the show hasn't been A+ since season 9?? Its been at least solid B material!! Better than most if you ax me! 

Anyway- Fox has ordered another 2 seasons making the show's total number of episodes dangerously near 500- and how could they resist one more season and hit that mega-milestone?? God knows Kendall and I will reach 500 shows! 

Poll Results!- TV Dads

Well Homer really is a big fat dynamo- he won first place with well over half the vote! Coming in a distant 2nd- that puddin' lovin' Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable- coming in 3rd- everyone else.

Monday Sucks, but this Video Doesn't (!!!!!)

Remember 1990 when things seemed like they couldn't get any better? They played this video on MTV a lot (I actually remember seeing it almost every morning before school for a while) and yes, if we began every day by Doing the Bartman, what a wonderful world it would be.