Hair Post

Also, as I watched "The Office" last night- I became very jealous of Jim's hair. Bald men will do sad things like that. Pick up old Barbie dolls from Goodwill and stroke their straw-like locks, now matted with gum and grime. Jealously wishing . . .

Anyway- Jim's hair did remind me of "The Simpsons" Halloween show where Homer wore a toupee made from Snake's hair after he was executed and then Homer goes crazy. I believe the segment was called "Hell Toupee." Gosh, for a cartoon, Snake had some great hair too. Hair someone might . . . kill for . . .

Time Marches On Case-file #520

So last night as I was watching the inconclusive season finale of "The Office," a realization came to me!! James Spader, the once sexy star of Sex, Lies, and Videotape, was interviewing for the position recently vacated by Michael Scott. And lo, James Spader (like the rest of us) has gotten old! (and like the rest of us: balder and fatter!).

I know that time marches on, and sooner or later you realize it's marching across your face- but c'mon! It's always jarring to see a one time sex symbol that has morphed into a friend of your Dad's.

Or more specifically, morphed into Garry Shandling (God love him!)

It Happens!

Yes, it does happen to the best of us! Baldness apparently happened to Mr. Travolta years ago, but thanks to Xenu's most accomplished rug weavers, we never knew. Or at least, we never had photographic evidence.

Over the weekend though, Oprah's pal Johnny foolishly left the house without his head carpet. Oh well- now that he's been yanked out of the baldness closet, is there any other closet he'd like to come out of? No pressure! In case you're wishing for some eye bleach, below is a photo of Mr. Travolta in his youth.

Why Men Wore Wigs

(Photo: the Cliff and Kendall of 1695)

Are you like Cliff and Kendall? Did you one day think to yourself "God has forsaken me and caused me to go bald! I'm fat because of Dairy Queen but my balding head is all on the Lord! Why couldn't I have been born in the glory days of yore when being obese and wearing a big puffy white wig was all the rage? Or at least why could I not have been born a pair of Jake Gyllenhaal's underwear?"

The answers to why men wore those puffy wigs is here! From yahoo! answers:

"The history of wigs goes all the way back to antiquity. In ancient Egypt it was common to shave ones head and wear wigs because of the prevalence of head lice. Since only the Wealthy and Well Born could afford to do this, wigs became a status symbol. This picked up again during the Renaissance, when antiquity began to be rediscovered and explored anew. And once again, only the wealthy and well born could afford wigs. Thus what started out as a hygienic tool became a status symbol. Except for very high ceremonial and court functions, the use of wigs as fashion statements largely died out in the 1790s due to the French Revolution and the rise of republican simplicity as an alternative fashion statement."

Damn republican simplicity! Nowadays when you need a simple republican you just look at the latest issue of In Style for a dumb-ass quote by Sarah Palin. Bitch! Let's calm down:

(Those underwears right there)

Best Hair(piece) Ever Goes to:

John Travolta!!! In "Old Dogs" somebody sure done a good job of gluing a toupee to Travolta's scalp! Call the Oscars- I wanna see this wig on the red carpet!! The alternative is they may get some sort of technical award for CGI-ing Hugh Grant's hair from 1994 onto Travolta's head.

Incidentally, if we decode the poster below, we'll find the true meaning. John Travolta is standing there telepathically telling us "Isn't it odd how wild gorillas always find weird little skinny dudes to adopt as babies?" But he's not saying it like he's alarmed or anything. He's just mentioning it as an odd fact you might find interesting- like "Did you know that mosquito repellants don't actually repel? They simply mask your scent."

On the right Robin Williams is trying as best he can to slowly back away from this movie poster. His shame is written all over his face, he just had to do this movie to pay for his heart surgery. Them Doubtfire dollar$ done dried up a long time ago.

Seth Green is singing that stupid fucking "I'm All Out of Love" song.

Bald Man of the Month

This month's choice is that affable old teddy bear Ed Asner. Best known for playing the affable old teddy bear Lou Grant, Asner has also portrayed Santa Claus in too many films and television specials to count. Although he will turn 80 this year, he is still hard at work and voices one of the lead characters in the upcoming Pixar film "Up."

Let's hear it for one of our favorite chrome domes! To learn more visit:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Asner

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**