On the Same Planet:

Somewhere Bradley Cooper is hoisting himself up in the name of health. 

And somewhere else a man is all like, "I do not remember eating the last donut hole!!?" 

And then Bradley's back up in the air.

Don't Have an Aneurysm!

According to THIS important health bulletin- there are several things you could be doing RIGHT NOW that might lead to a brain aneurysm!

YOU: "What things exactly?"

Well, for one- smoking, for another: drinking your 19th cup of coffee of the day! Both might allow weak spots in the brain to take you down! And for all those gym bunnies: exercise is another risk! And for all those regular bunnies: doing it is another risk!!

I know I am going to TAKE A STAND FOR HEALTH!! No more exercise for me.

New Episode: The $#!+ Show

As Bonus Month draws to a close, we've got one last bonus show for you today! And it's all about . . . uh . . . pooping. Well- not ALL ABOUT, but that's the theme as we explore the health of your bowels as well as some hilarious #2 stories!!

Worry not, ye faint of stomach! We've also got Bad Jokes, Stoooopid Questions, and that old favorite "Three Star Theater" makes a comeback!

Sit down and join us! Up now on itunes and here on the blog.

For Your Health!

Sewer Sludge Smoothie:

1 plumb

1 apple

1 banana

3/4 cup frozen spinach

1/4 cup frozen blueberries

1 packet Vitamin C supplement

2 packets no-cal fruit punch mix singles

1 packet no-cal lemonade mix singles

**Alternate title of this post: Goddammit this better make me lose 25 fucking pounds!**

Healthy Feet = Healthy You?

On our Valentine show we told you how to introduce feet into your lovemaking, but did you know that feet can be a predictor of your overall health in addition to an exctitingly erotic body part?

Well, they can! Click HERE to see a host of warning signs of deathly illness that can be found in your feet! Then you can check your own feet or come back here to inspect the above photo to see how healthy Zac Efron really is! (I know which one I'll be doing!)

Healthiness is Next to Sexiness

So here we are- 5 days into 2011! Wow, what a time to be alive. I hope you are making healthy choices, not only for your health but because we wouldn't want to leave you behind when Kendall and I look like this by the end of the year!! Expect lots of "frolicking on the beach" shots from our next photo shoot.

Yes, January is traditionally the time for reflecting on ourselves and revamping our eating/exercise in order to lose those holiday pounds we gained so merrily (and scarily) from October through December.

P.S. Do you think he's calling our hotline? Well, we have a FATline- he would have a HOTline! Talk about your zing zang!

Richard Simmons!!!!!!!!!!

Last night we worked out with the one and only Richard Simmons!! It was a workout and YES we were sweaty!!! He was wonderful and inspirational! Love him!

So much fun to be at Slimmons Studio- unforgettable!! Truly one marked off the bucket list. And yeah, he loved it when we showed him the "Other" Richard Simmons!

Mash Recipe

If you were lucky enough to catch our recent podcast "Obese Again, Naturally" you heard us discuss a recipe of my own creation: Mash. It's low-cal, low-prep, high in vitamins, and more appetizing than anything in Disney Pixar's 'Ratatouille.' Many people don't love plain vegetables, but who doesn't love casseroles?? This is like a very healthy casserole just for you!

First! You will need:

1 vegetable you can stomach. My favorite to use is zuccini (about 2 medium/large or 3 or 4 small ones), but you can also use squash, spinach, or as I had on hand today: broccoli. The point of the vegetable is you want to use one that is zero Weight Watcher points. To learn more you can click HERE. You want a large amount of the vegetable, as it makes up the majority of the your mash.

Low-cal Spaghetti sauce (you will only need 1/4-1/2 a cup)

1 frozen veggie burger. Kendall and I are vegetarians, so we use these. For a carnivore you can figure out the equivalent amount of meat, but you might as well use a veggie burger as they are low-cal and are clearly marked "1 WW Point" (see photo). I especially like the Boca Bruschetta burgers and the Morningstar Farms Black Bean burger (although they are 2 points).

10 saltines

(You can also add some cooked onion, onion powder, garlic powder, any low sodium, no-cal spice that you like.)

Step One: cook your vegetable. Cook it until it is soft and mashable. I boiled my broccoli, Kendall grates his zuccini, there's no wrong way to do it so long as it's nice and soft when it's done.

Step Two: Microwave your veggie burger and mash it up.

Step Three: Add cooked vegetable to mashed veggie burger in a large bowl.

Step Four: Crush up 10 saltines into the bowl.

Step Five: Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of spaghetti sauce to mixture. Use enough to satisfy your taste, but no more than 80 calories worth. (Refer to the back of the jar).

Step Six: MASH THAT SHIT UP! Once your mash has turned into something that resembles what the Pilgrims did into buckets and then tossed overboard the Mayflower, you're done!

Step Seven: Eat it! It does look awful. I admit it. BUT it tastes good!! It's like a one person casserole that will satisfy your need for a large heap of food and won't add those unwanted pounds! We all need something to keep us full around the holidays and this is something!

Scary Healthy Halloween Smoothie Recipe!

The nutritionists at Cliff and Kendall Labs have perfected a perfect way to "trick" your kids into eating their vegetables!! The "treat" will be their cardio-pulminary health .

For this "wicked concoction" you will need a blender, 5 oz leaf spinach (which is a lot!), 7 thawed or raw strawberries, 1 packet low-calorie lemonade mix (not the individual serving size, the big jug size which will be 20 calories total), about 3/4 cup of water (give or take), and 5-6 ice cubes.

Start by blending the spinach with water until it turns into bright green witch-colored liquid. Add the strawberries and lemonade packet. Blend until strawberries have married completely into the spinach liquid. Add ice cubes and blend until smooth.

Pour that shit into a Halloween glass and tell your kids they're drinking "monster snot!" Or if they're still really into Shrek- "Shrek Diarrhea!" This actually tastes great and as you can see is very healthy! Have a "happy" Halloween!!!!