OMG NO- There is a "Toe-Suck Fairy"

Please read THIS. It is far too disturbing to be fiction! It's about the "Toe-Suck Fairy"! This makes the "Barefoot Bandit" seem almost quaint! It also reminds me of Divine's son in "Polyester"- although instead of going around sucking the toes of unsuspecting elderly ladies- he stomped 'em.

WHY????

That's So . . . Courageous

When did Raven Symone become the Cowardly Lion?

Okay she needs a crown made from a broken flower pot, but that's about it.

Whoa

Can someone please tell me what is up with Joey Lawrence's hair?? Does he have hair anymore? If so- I'd say he needs to GROW it OUT. If not I'd say he needs to find a wig or BE BALD. Okay so there's no such thing as going bald with dignity- BUT you can do it without shame. Has he opted for a makeup artist instead- to stipple faux hair follicles all over his newly chromed dome?

So none of us can look as hot as we did in 1992, but there's no reason for the Mr. Clean look- unless you are black, Patrick Stewart, or in fact MR. CLEAN.

Maybe he needs one of Blossom's hats. This is all simply my own personal opinionation, of course.

Largest "Non-Cliff & Kendall" Man Boobs

You can READ all about the Chinese man who has man boobs rivaling only those of Cliff and Kendall!

They're big! But at least he has some medical condition- we've just been eatin' too many pounds of pie!

More Strange People

Visit http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/ these are possibly even weirder than all those Walmart . . . um, how to put it kindly? uh . . . Walmart shoppers at the site mentioned in the post below.

Damn Jake Musical!

According to weird movie sources on the interweb: Jake Gyllenhaal and Jim Carrey will make their musical debut in a new movie version of "Damn Yankees."  Crazy, huh?

Jake will play the baseball player that sells his soul to the devil (Jim Carrey) in order for the Yankees to win the super bowl or some such thing.  Should be fun- the team behind the very enjoyable movie version of the musical "Hairspray" will lend their talents as well!

Learn more about the show here.

Craziness! Woman burned alive for Witchery!

Click HERE to read the CNN story of a woman in Papa New Guinea (or somewhere) that was burned alive!! Terrible!!!

What's next?!?? Burning people alive for podcasting? Witchery should be embraced and loved! What's wrong with a little Love Potion #9? Nothing! Let's all love one another and our differences! Have you ever been karmically bitch-slapped by a six armed goddess? Well- you will be if we don't all learn to get along!

Weird Father Daughter Thing

So this may come as old news to you (as it did to me), but Time Magazine is just now catching on. Across the country, or at least in the more Bible fearin' parts of it, there are events called "Purity Balls" happening all the time.

These balls unite fathers and their young daughter in prayer, dancing, and presumably appetizers. Also, it's supposed to be some weird thing where the girl is married to her father until he gives her away to a nice young man in front of a church full of people at which point she is then free to take off her (presumably) metaphorical chastity belt and then get down with her new male ruler: her husband.

Weird? Beautiful? You decide!! Click HERE to get the complete story from Time.com. And as for the picture above, I couldn't think of a way to integrate Zac Efron or Jake Gyllenhaal so you get a futuristic pic of Kendall and a future daughter of his. Not pictured: his wife Susan and I kicking back daquiris at the nearest T.G.I.Fridays; robots.

Pringles, ad nauseum

Speaking of Pringles (see below), during my extensive research for the previous post I encountered a listing that told of all the exotic Pringles flavors that the lucky folks outside of America get to try. Here are the ones I would sample, if I could sample them, not that I'm all bent out of shape about it, but you know, if the oppotunity arose:

Europe:

Tomato and Mozzarella

Prawn cocktail (shrimp is a better word, right?)

Hot Holland Hot

Flame Grilled Steak and Caramalized Onion (so long as there's no real meat juices!)

Sweet Chili & Lemongrass

Australia:

Light Spicy Thai with a touch of Coconut Oil

South America:

Paprika

Filet Mignon (I never ate the real cut of meat, and never would now, so I might as well eat the chip, right?)

Japan:

French Consomme

Funky Soy Sauce (call anything Funky and I'll try it!)

Devil Hot (just for the Satan factor)

Grilled Cheese

Here are some discontinued flavors that sound interesting:

Cheesy quesadilla, Cheeseburger, Wild Strawberry (supposedly a "Tarzan" promotion), Curry, Grand taco, Oniony Fries, Roasted Turkey, Spicy Guacamole, Valentines Day (original dyed pink), Winter Cheese Fondue, & Wisconsin White Cheddar

And I promise I'll never talk about Pringles again.

Except to say that food that comes with trivia questions on it is pretty fun. In a "wouldn't this fuckin' freak out someone from the past who travelled into the future and went to eat a chip, and suddenly realized that the chip had Name Luke Skywalker's robot friends printed on it? That is, if the person from the past hadn't already been totally fucked up by the whole time-travel experience already."

Tell Me Lies

Believe it when we tell you that a brand new episode of Cliff and Kendall: Coast to Coast is on the way!

This week we're talking all about lies. Why do we lie? How do we lie? How can you tell if someone else is lying? (Listen for Kendall's super informational explanation of how to be your own personal lie detector- and then if that gameshow "To Tell the Truth" is revived you can clean up!! Just remember your old podcasting friends when you're looking to unload some of those winnings!)

Cliff regales the world with the tale of the first lie he ever told. Kendall tries to pull one over on our listeners and even MORE.

Also, we debut the new segment "Cliff and Kendall's History Lesson" and we again venture into the fan favorite world of "Weird News!!" (You won't believe some of the strange stuff Kendall's dug up this week! Outrageous!!)

So come along, as your old buddies explore the world of bending the truth. And there isn't one mention of "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" or "Iraq is overflowing with weapons of mass destruction." Can you believe it? We forgot to get political!! You'll just have to wait for our Fourth of July Fireworks show.

Relief

I just had to add another post regarding our new episode. Kendall calls it Opera Winfrey Presents: Cliff and Kenda. I like it, has a nice ring to it.

Anyway, the post below this one is a little disturbing. It features photos talked about in our Weird News segment. The post below that one is possibly more disturbing as it contains the song I wrote called "harry potter scarf." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Here's a little taste of favorite things, guess which one is mine and which one is Kendall's:

and here's something else to ease the pain:

Weird News!!!!

Here, as promised are the pictures from Weird News. Sorry, it's a little disturbing.