Cher Makes It All Better

Look I made a "Meme" for you! "What is a Meme?" you ask. Click HERE and find out! If you already know- enjoy! (You'll feel better if you think of Oscar winner Cher, by the way.)

Next time you're very angry, think of Cher! Think of her up on that Navy boat singing to sailors, think of her singing into a robot microphone for Believe, think of her slapping Nicolas Cage and telling him to "Snap out of it!" Think of her wearing the feathers of 10,000 birds as Half Breed, think of her gypsy Mama dancing for all the money they'd throw, think of her extolling the virtues of haircare products!!! Any thought of Cher will raise your spirits!!*

*These claims have not been verified by the FCC, FDA, or FFA. But they're probably true.

Hope For Old Age

It seems like only ten years ago so many of my favorite stars were in their fifties. And now THIS article extols the virtues of famous folks in their sixties!

Now- I truly don't know what I'll do when, in ten more years, so many of my favorite stars will be in their seventies! I'll probably be dead though, so who cares. Hope for tomorrow, guys!

Oscar, Please Let Franco Sing Cher

You must follow THIS link to hear James Franco rehearse Cher's should-have-been-nominated-for-an-Oscar-song "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from last year's Burlesque. While this proves there really is nothing James Franco cannot do, it also lets us down easy. He disappointedly tweeted that the number was cut from the Oscar broadcast.

Which brings me to another point- yes, Burlesque was maybe not "great cinema" or even remotely Oscar-worthy, but the song itself is really very good. And could Burlesque have been any worse than the much maligned Gwyneth Paltrow should-have-been-made-for-CMT Country Strong? Doubt it. But Gwyneth has been singing her way through every television show for a few months now, and so Oscar only followed suit by nominating her song so she could sing yet again on TV. Personally, I'll wait until she's back on Glee. Don't forget to listen to my manstress' song above!

*P.S. Our Oscar party show comes out this Friday!

Griffin, Party of Three

Recently Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin, and CHER had a "girls night in"- and you can only imagine what fun they had!!

Joan was quoted:

On the Rumored Girls Night She Had With Cher and Kathy Griffin:

It’s true and it was great. The rule was no makeup and no hair. We sat there and had wine and sushi and just talked and talked. It was a great, great night. We talked about who’s done what, who’s screwing whom, who’s a liar, just everything. We all had a wonderful time.

Next time ladies, make it a table for five!! Okay, table for seven. (Kendall and I each take up two seats).

Becoming . . .

Click HERE to read a little about the documentary Chaz Bono made to document his female-to-male transition. I think Oprah may have snagged it for her network, not sure. Chaz says he made the film to put a face to an issue that many still find tricky to discuss. I just hope Cher is in it!

It's called "Becoming Chaz" but jugding by the photo it could just as easily have been titled "Becoming a Cliff and Kendall." We three look alike is what I'm saying. Large dudes, we three.

Adult Snow Day!

If you should find yourself as an adult with a snow day- what should you do? Catch up on home repairs? Begin reading those Dickens books Oprah chose for her book club? Use the day to get a jump start on your taxes? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

You, of course, walk across the street to the liquor store!

You buy a box of wine!

You tap that shit and have a glass (or 7) while you watch movies in bed! Hey the wine's no Two-Buck Chuck, but if left out in the snow a little longer (or in the refrigerator) it'll be better than building any snowman.

Tip it, you goomba!

J is for Jumpin' Jehovah I'm Jealous!

Okay officially about to go all Incredible Hulk (turn huge and green) with envy for Our Lady of Broadcast Comedians!

In the past week or so Kathy has twatted pics of herself with not only the hottest disco stick in town (see post below), but also: the hottest newcaster in town (Anderson Cooper, above), the hottest butter promoter in town (Paula Deen) and . . .

. . . what you don't recognize this legend from the back? Well- IT'S CHER MOTHERFUCKERS.

Blessings Count: 3

Can you believe I found three blessings? Three reasons not only to be thankful over the next week, but also reasons to leave the house?

A CHER movie! (11/24)

A JAKE GYLLENHAAL movie! (11/24)

and HHHAAARRRRRRYYY PPPOOOTTTTTTEEERRR!!!!!!!!! (NOW!)

Give thanks unto the Lord!

Commence Gaying Out

New Cher movie- This Thanksgiving! Finally something to be thankful for!!!!!

Do it Chastity!

Chastity Bono (daughter of Sonny and Cher) is becoming a man! Though she is late for a Bar Mitzvah the celeb-kiddo has begun the transformation from female to male.

Go on Chastity! Now known as Chaz- he is an inspiration to all those who hope and wish to simply be themselves and feel good inside their own skin. God bless 'em!!

And you know what we say: Fuck all those who think they know what's best for other people!

God Bless us EveryONE!!

Craziness! Woman burned alive for Witchery!

Click HERE to read the CNN story of a woman in Papa New Guinea (or somewhere) that was burned alive!! Terrible!!!

What's next?!?? Burning people alive for podcasting? Witchery should be embraced and loved! What's wrong with a little Love Potion #9? Nothing! Let's all love one another and our differences! Have you ever been karmically bitch-slapped by a six armed goddess? Well- you will be if we don't all learn to get along!