Did Obama Block Snoopy on Purpose?

According to a looney mayor in WEST TENNESSEE he did!! Charlie Brown's annual re-learning what Christmas is all about was supposed to air this week, but Obama the Muslim who ate Christmas had to go and have a speech about the Afghan war or somthing.

Look I don't know nothin' bout bailouts and I still can't marry Jake Gyllenhaal- but I'm willing to cut Barry O some slack unless he's a closet Snoopy hater!!!!

Read the insanity spouted by the Muslim-fearing mayor HERE.

Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas HERE.

(FYI if you want to wait ABC will be airing "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on Dec. 8 and 15th at 8/7 Cental)

Wanda Sykes at the White House Correspondents Dinner

Black Lesbian Honors Black President!!!
It's all funny, but the best stuff may be in the 2nd part.

Obama Rumor

Psst!!! Don't tell ANYONE! I heard a very hush hush, on the down low, off the QT rumor that our new glorious Pres. Obama is a closet VEGETARIAN!!

That's what I hear. He's also a closet smoker, BUT he's trying to quit. A smoking vegetarian in the White House- Hello, 2009!

Cliff and Kendall's Election Update

Our Election Night Podcast is up and running! Listen as we hear what happens as it happened!!! And if you still don't know who won, I won't spoil it hear- you'll have to hear it yourself!

a Message from Jake Gyllenhaal

Early voting is already on- and election day is two weeks away!!!

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**

McCain Beats Obama!

Click HERE to read about one way Grandpa McCain has trumped his rival Senator Obama.

Hint: People who like old bitches prefer McCain!

**Editor's Note: I love old bitches!! But the kind I prefer are below.**

Obama Beats McCain!

As far as barbecue guests go . . . Obama is the champ! More people would prefer to have Obama at their outdoor meat cook-a-thon than old timer McCain. Probably because McCain would take his teeth out and clean them, or ask you to run them through the dishwasher.

Of course of the two choices, Kendall and I would choose the big O as well. But given the choice of everyone ever to share our veggie burgers with? Hmm . . . what would that dinner party look like?

To read the "meaty" story of the political barbecue guests, click HERE.

Put the God Back in Government! Oh, wait . . .

I miss the days of "you got chocolate in my peanut butter!"- "no you got peanut butter in my chocolate!" These days the only thing to say is "You got your religion all up in my fucking government."

Click HERE to see a story all about how Obama supposedly is distorting the Bible by not wanting to use it as his only tool as the possibly, maybe President come next year. What would McCain use as his tool? The original tablets carried down Mt. Sinai by Moses? Cause you know that motherfucker is so old he saw that shit LIVE!

Braindead Robot Praises Hillary

From CNN.com:

"First Lady Laura Bush said Monday that as a veteran of the rigors of the campaign trail herself, she "admired Hillary's grit and strength."

"I know what it’s like to run those campaigns, to be the candidate and how very difficult it is both emotionally and physically,” Bush told ABC News. “It's a huge endurance, process of endurance, and so I'll have to say I have a lot of admiration for her endurance and strength."

"I know it's hard," Mrs. Bush said, "It's hard to do that and I think she did great."

She sure knows a lot about endurance and hardness right? But it is nice that even this big dumb fucking idiot (literally, assuming she's still fucking W. from time to time) is realizing how great, historic actually, Hillary's run was. Both Hillary and Obama blew an enormous hole in the hubris of old white men everywhere (Grandpa McCain take note!) and hopefully the history will continue in November.

There are a lot of news stories circulating about Hillary's supporters and where they will go. I certainly would never go for Grandpa McCain, but I'm not super happy and all aboard the Obama Train yet. (That was so not a reference to Soul Train, I swear). But hopefully soon, we can all come together to make America slightly less of a soulless shit hole!

No Sex Pants- For Teens!

The teen-centric pants above are available for girls from K-mart, America's 8th favorite discount superstore, and are sure to become a hit! What young girl doesn't want to advertise her chastity all over her ass?

Let me tell you, those pants are gonna sell out in TN. "True Love Waits" is very big there, or at least it was in high schools around the turn of the millennium. Several kids even wore promise rings- not to their future fiances mind you- but to themselves/Jesus that they'd never give in to the naughty urges until their weddin' nights. If the Honda Accord is rockin' don't come a knockin'! But mostly the ones who wore the self-promise rings were the types who need not make a vow to maintain celibate. They pretty much were assured to remain that way unless drastic measures were taken (re: $$$, or Jack Daniels interference).

Also pictured is my high school: Greenbrier High School to be exact, and a few fellows these pants are sure to please. The currently rotting corpse of Jerry Falwell, the currently rotting Pope, and a caricature of Jesus.

Below are a few designs I came up with myself. In case Kendall and I rise to the Z List and need a hobby like clothing design.

Below is one more pair. Too political?? I'm just trying to heal the party y'all!

Let the Healing Begin/Anderson Cooper

As we try to mend the fences that weren't torn down so much as exploded over the past six months of Democratic primaries, we have to look for ways we can begin to come together to defeat Grandpa McCain and his evil backwoods possum ways this November.

One way is laughter- a very healing thing. This short clip from Anderson Cooper is kinda funny, him talking to this CNN commentator about being her boo. As someone whose seen Anderson on the street in Chelsea more than once, I can say I've wondered what it would be like to be his boo.

**Editor's Note: I really wanted to work in a Simpsons reference about some people booing and some people saying "boo-urns" but I couldn't figure out how to do it. I apologize.**

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**

NOOOOOOO! to Grandpa McCain!

As this idiotic battle between Democratic presidential nominees rages on, supporters on both sides are becoming increasingly bitter towards the rival nominee (according to this news story.)

But during these frustrating times, let us not forget who the enemy is: GRANDPA MCCAIN! This sleepy septuagenarian wants us to "stay the course" in Iraq, apparently until the end of time. While he may have once been called a "maverick Republican," let us not forget that a "maverick Republican" is still a Republican. That means: guns in our children's cold dead hands, schools left drastically underfunded while every child (that survives the guns) is left far behind, gays will probably be rounded up and put into internment camps (or in front of firing squads), and a sea of unwanted babies that we must all wade through on the way to work every morning- infants without parents grasping at the cuffs of our pants- unwanted and unloved- growing up to become a terrorist or another Republican.

I feel these bitter feeling too, but this must not happen! Just say NOOOOOO to GRANDPA MCCAIN! And say YES to uniting this quickly splintering party- however that has to happen- let it happen PLEASE!

Media Minute (Blog version)

Joining the ranks of some of our southern cousins, John Edwards and Rudy G. have dropped out of the race for the white house. We know that you are probably waiting to decide who to vote for until you hear whom Cliff and Kendall have thrown their (considerable) weight behind. But, have no fear our official podcaster endorsement will be forthcoming.

Montel Williams is ceasing production at the end of this season!! This is leaving a gaping hole in the programming of many local affiliates. Sure, they could find some other fame-hungry judge to fill the timeslot, but we have another idea.

Oh wait, maybe Marie Osmond will take his place. She's apparently getting her own talk show next season. Was no one else paying attention in the late 90's? She and Donnie had a show for about two years after Rosie became popular and everyone without something to do got their own show. We did enjoy the headline for the AOL story though: 'Dancing' Loser Gets a Talk Show'. No Mormon propaganda!

Remember when Kendall broke the WEIRD story of the pot vending machines? Well, it's true!! Hopefully they'll be next to regular vending machines. For convenience.

They're getting rid of those awful Wendy's commercials with weirdos in red wigs. Yay!! Now can they please bring Dave Thomas back from the dead? They did it with Fred Astaire. Or they could just air this:



That'll get rid of the January blahhhs.