Ellen Recap

Why am I talking so much about the 90's sitcom "Ellen"? Because more people should be! That's why! I've also recently noticed that 4/5 of its seasons are insanely high priced because they're out of print. And that ain't right! 

So without anymore filler, the totally straight Queen Latifah guest sang the theme song in season 4. Also David Crosby was on an episode- and the funny thing is- I saw a guy who looked just like David Crosby last night!!!! Another funny thing is- CHILDREN DO NOT KNOW WHO DAVID CROSBY IS! 

OR WHO BING CROSBY IS!! I'm having a moment here. 

Feeling Young?

Feeling young??? Then click HERE! It's a nicely compiled list of 100 things your children will never know existed! Or will read about only in 9th grade history (when they study ancient lands).

A few examples:

1. Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.

15. 3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.

19. The scream of a modem connecting.

39. Doing bank business only when the bank is open.

58. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?

78. Neat handwriting.

96. Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.

NOW, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!

Time Marches On Case-file #520

So last night as I was watching the inconclusive season finale of "The Office," a realization came to me!! James Spader, the once sexy star of Sex, Lies, and Videotape, was interviewing for the position recently vacated by Michael Scott. And lo, James Spader (like the rest of us) has gotten old! (and like the rest of us: balder and fatter!).

I know that time marches on, and sooner or later you realize it's marching across your face- but c'mon! It's always jarring to see a one time sex symbol that has morphed into a friend of your Dad's.

Or more specifically, morphed into Garry Shandling (God love him!)

Guns for Babies! Utensils for Stupid Women!

Check out these old ads- HERE to see how far we've come from the bad old days when the rich white guys were in charge! So glad we've moved on.

I particularly like the one's that threaten a wife with a spanking! The Ricardos were just representing reality!

Holy Old Age, Batman!

oh holy Lord!!! Tim Burton's amazing "Batman" turned 20 just over a week ago!! It changed how we think of blockbusters, movie villains, and home video- and it totally ruled my life the summer I was 7 years old- and did so until the summer I was 10 years old- when "Batman Returns" came out.

Holy Flurking Shnit I am ancient!!! But what a ride! (The movie, not my life). 

How to Be Old

Are you interested in living to be 100?? I am totally NOT, but if you are- you can check out THIS article and get ready to get old!

Some of their "off the wall" tips include: Floss, Move around, and Become a Seventh Day Adventist. No thanks! I am crazy enough already.

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**

it's time for a Cliff and Kendall cartoon!

**click for larger**

We All Get Old

You know, you may be thinking of how you used to be younger, tighter, and more sexually desirable- BUT! Did you ever realize we all get old and sad looking??

Even the sexiest of us- turn gray, wrinkly, and fall prey to the thrall of Cheetos brand snack foods. Now you may be saying, "Hey! At least they had their glory days!" Ah, BUT! Do you think it's easier to look in the mirror and see the ravages of time on your once gorgeous face that made others swoon- or do you think it's easier to look in the mirror and think to yourself, "Well, I always looked like shit." I believe the latter.

And don't give me that shit about Sean Connery being perenially sexy. Nay!! He is a dried up old cowhide and has been for decades. So- watch out Zac Efron and friends- You are next!

Favorite TV of the year that's now over

Okay- I would say that my favorite show of last year was AMC's Mad Men. The first season I watched from Netflix and season 2 from Kendall's DVR. Brilliant!

The 60's, Cigarette ads, women treated like objects, minorities treated like less- a very eye-opening show that let's us see how far we've come. But still so far to go- can you see the pro(Obama)mised land??

Now, I'm gonna bet that Kendall's favorite show was "Lost." If you don't know much about that show- check our podcast archives because we did an entire episode devoted to it! Aww, and it was our first show in HD- memories . . .

Honorable Mention: Roseanne Reruns!

"Roseanne" was one of the all-time best sitcoms ever- and is really just as hilarious and fresh- and VITAL today as ever. How long has it been since you've seen a show about REAL POOR PEOPLE?? Not a caricature, or an exploitative 'reality' show? "Roseanne" deserves to be seen again (and most seasons are very affordable on Amazon- $15-$20 a piece).

I must say watching the Connors struggles makes me feel MUCH BETTER about being poor and imperfect! Try not feeling like a pile of obese shit while watching "Gossip Girl"- now watch "Roseanne" and feel your self confidence rise!!!! A++++