I Meant To Tell You

While looking through boxes from the attic, Thelma Harper (above) found an article of clothing I'm going to have to start wearing. Damn, damn, damn, no more pizza, ya hear me, Self!!?! 

Kathie Lee is the soul-mother to Cliff and Kendall.  

The high for today is in the low 90s with a 10% chance of showers coming late this afternoon. Should be a great day at the beach though! 

This is my favorite "Mr. Belvedere" character. She's the daughter's best friend who always mispronounces Mr. Belvedere's name. Mr. Beaverdonkey, Mr. Butterfinger, etc. 

Channing Tatum String Theory

When I think to myself of the report that Becky printed out which showed topics that drive up web-traffic, I'm reminded of a popular post we posted at some point before the Channing Tatum stripper movie came out.

It featured shots of Channing Tatum in his stripper days, dancing up a sharknado in his g-string (imagine, just imagine what that g-string would go for on ebay).

Did you know he was a stripper? (If not, what gulag were you just released from?) Well, he was. Did you also know that in the book of Deuteronomy G-d forbids men as fat as Cliff and Kendall from even taking off their hats!?!? True. Don't believe me? Buy the book.

An eternity in hell for not wearing hats!!! 

Ellen Recap

Why am I talking so much about the 90's sitcom "Ellen"? Because more people should be! That's why! I've also recently noticed that 4/5 of its seasons are insanely high priced because they're out of print. And that ain't right! 

So without anymore filler, the totally straight Queen Latifah guest sang the theme song in season 4. Also David Crosby was on an episode- and the funny thing is- I saw a guy who looked just like David Crosby last night!!!! Another funny thing is- CHILDREN DO NOT KNOW WHO DAVID CROSBY IS! 

OR WHO BING CROSBY IS!! I'm having a moment here. 

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

So I'm trying to eat right and then I go into the break room and who but Mrs. Potterbutter Butterchurn has sent in what but a Christmas in July Cake!!!!! How am I supposed to eat right when this is happening!?!?! And then . . . 

. . . Then Kendall not only orders out for fried spaghetti lunch specials, he ALSO stews up a pot full of macaroni and cheese. HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ENORMOUS!?!?!?!?!?