In celebration of the upcoming season, here are the damn few LOST characters I don't want to punch in the face. Most of them I don't care if they live or die (most of them I want to die!). There are a surprisingly large number of people confined on this island.
And it took me a while to grasp just why it seems that every time you turn around someone else seems to be living on this island. I think the main reason is that before long you, the viewer, will be yearning for the death of most of these castaways. And its been suggested to me that this is no accident. Living on an island with people not of your choosing would get on your nerves after a while. People keep eating your mangos, someone else is crapping in your makeshift toilet. I get it. Also, being stranded in and of itself would certainly make you a lil' bit kooky. (Look what happened to Gilligan).
But as I've looked back over the last 3 seasons, I realized that at one time or another I had wanted to haul back and punch most of these characters in the face. That was one reason I wasn't so put off with the introduction of the group of people from the other side of the island in the beginning of the second season. Frankly, by the time we met Anna Lucia I was so tired of Jack's self-appointed Kingship I was glad to find a bitchy ex-cop who handled things her own way. And believe me, when she accidentally shot Shannon, I stood up by myself in my bedroom and applauded good 'ol Anna Lucia. I only wish that the bullet that killed Shannon had been magical enough to take out Sayid at the same time. Of course it was only a matter of time until Anna Lucia herself met a similar fate.
And that's one of the good things about the show, you never know who is going to be the next recipient of one of those all-too-familiar beachside funeral services these people are so fond of having. But, for the record, as of right now the following list of castaways never made me want to shove their face in the sand and hope "the others" would do the rest of the dirty work.
1. Kate- Even throughout her "love affair" with Sawyer she didn't inspire my wrath the way most of these island romances did. (That was the key reason Sayid and Shannon deserved a good beating). She also has an increasingly interesting back story that I don't mind flashing back to once and a while. Also, I do in fact love Sawyer now, but I haven't forgotten his incredibly annoying season one personality.
2. Hurley- Who could hate Hurley, the most cuddly passenger on that fateful flight? He's funny, he actually makes decisions that make sense, and he too has an interesting "before the island" story. I would love to know more about that lottery money, those numbers, and the asylum. (Was that really Libby?) He is wonderful, mowing down those others with the van? Priceless.
3. Locke- I have never hated John Locke. He is my favorite character on the show, and I always side with him when he comes up against Jack. Even when he's wrong, he's just so passionate about his belief that they should "listen to the island," and it will reveal its secrets. He also dated Peg Bundy in his former life. And he seems to know why leaving the island is a mistake. And he heard Jacob.
4. Walt- Walt and Michael left for the mainland, thank God. Walt never made me wanna punch him, mostly because he's a kid, but also because he had a rough enough time with his dead Mom, deadbeat stepfather, and having to deal with Michael's overbearing parenting. Also, it sucked when he was kidnapped by "the others" just so it wouldn't appear that he aged two years in the 65 days the castaways are supposed to have been on the island. If he had to go, I'm glad he took his incredibly annoying father with him.
5. Claire's baby- See reasons not to hit children mentioned above. Add that to the fact that this baby has to constantly deal with (former) drug-addict, sometimes religious fanatic Charlie trying to be its father and the baby gets a pass. Of course, not anymore . . .
6. Rose- I only wanted to punch her husband Bernard during that one episode where he decided he was desperate to get off the island, other than that theirs was one of the few island romances I could get behind. They were married and then separated by the plane crash only to have a moving reunion in the beginning of this season. Rose also adds a dose of common sense whenever she's around and is a great, and definitely under-used, sort of motherly character that most of these hot-headed goofballs should listen to more often. She is so under used we only saw her at the very end of season 3, although we could've used some Rose to love to balance out all the Ben-hating of that season.
7. Sun- Oh you better believe Sun's husband Jin deserved a good beat down. In the beginning of season one he was totally hatable, right up there with Sawyer. He seemed to be one of the villains that came down with the rest of the group. But Sun was the down-trodden wife of this jerk, and she became instantly more lovable once it was revealed she spoke English and was on her way out of this marriage until she had a last minute change of heart and got on the plane anyway. (Big mistake?) And even though they've reconciled, she's pregnant and still hard to hate (except when she's sticking up for Juliet).
8. Boone- Boone is dead now, and it's entirely possible that he would have grown to become just as annoying as many of his fellow survivors had he not chosen to climb up in that plane stuck in the trees. He came very near being hatable when it was revealed he had "feelings" for his insufferable ex-stepsister Shannon, but he was so attractive and died so soon afterward that he escaped just in time.
9. Vincent- Who could hit a dog? He also apparently has to fend for himself now that Walt's gone and Shannon thankfully went to that great beauty parlor in the sky.
Season 4 begins soon and all of these are subject to change. Will Sun do something really stupid? Will Claire's baby finally go one step too far and piss me off? Only time will tell!
