What a Wonderful World

Cliff and Kendall are influencing the world!!! Just look at the top 10 things trending on Yahoo! No, I don't give a shit about debt ceilings! And who the fuck is Bree Boyce? WHO CARES!?!?

OPRAH-JAKE-ROSEANNE-FRANCO!

Have a scroll down the blog and you will see so many of their faces! And I don't go a day without trying to Oprah-fy myself! (Especially since, as you'll hear on this week's show, I'm a talk show host with a supporting roll in an independent film!)

Maybe today will be great?

**UPDATE: Turns out Bree Boyce is a beauty queen who lost 110 pounds and has written (no kidding) a book about OBESITY! Another score for Cliff and Kendall!**

We All Need More James Franco

At least I do! Click HERE to read a great interview he did with Playboy magazine. He talks about the Oscars (I thought he was great!), the upcoming "Rise of the Planet of the Apes," and more!

What I love most about James Franco is his enormous talent and also how hot he is. BUT I also admire him because he truly is an artist- just like Cliff and Kendall!

Oscar Shakeup!

No, unfortunately they have not decided to instate James Franco as a permanent Castro-like 'Oscar Host For Life'- instead the Academy has once again shaken up the rules for Best Picture nominees!

The last two years have seen 10 Best Picture nominees, as opposed to the 5 nominees seen for the 6 or so decades before that. Now, the new rules (read about them HERE) have made it so that there could be anywhere between 5 and 10 nominees in a given year.

That's Hollywood for ya!

James Franco on Letterman

PLEEEEEZE click HERE to watch the interview James Franco recently gave to David Letterman! It's 15 minutes in heaven!!!!

They commiserate about being "failed" Oscar hosts, and well- they look like they like each other so much- I just want to be their pal!!!

James, Dave, can we get a table for three?

No Foolin'! James & Jake News

So I was trying to find some kind of April Fool's Day thing to post. I came up empty! I even went to the Fox news website, you know- so I could link to something awful there as a joke. I felt sick just browsing their headlines. Sooo . . .

In other real happy news:

My husband Jake Gyllenhaal has a movie coming out today!! ("Source Code"). And I swear I'm going this weekend! Don't tell him, but I still haven't seen "Love and Other Drugs," but it's at the top of my Netflix (with a very long wait). I never made it to the theater for that one. I felt too fat.

Speaking of feeling fat, I sure do when I look at my manstress James Franco! He'll be on Letterman tonight- and you (or I) don't want to miss it, as he's talking about his hosting of the Oscars! (A preview clip can be seen HERE). And Speaking of the artist known as Franco: He'll be delivered into my mailbox today via another movie I always felt too fat to see: "127 Hours"! So shortly I will be enjoying James/cringing/turning away as I watch his Oscar nominated turn as that guy who cut his own arm off.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Enough!!

Can we agree that whatever happened at the Oscars last week- NO LONGER MATTERS!?! I'm not even talking about the winners or losers, but the endless bashing of Anne Hathaway and James Franco? Yes, their monologue sucked, but I bet they didn't even write it!! There are teachers unions being raped, countries in the middle of uprisings, Republicans mad with power, and continued genocide in Darfur!!!

Feel free to quote my direct letter to Hollywood:

Dear Hollywood,

GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

Love,

Cliff and Kendall

And I will go one step further! I will start a campaign to let us host next year's Oscars!! We'll show them what bad hosting is all about! Wait 'til we belch in Meryl Streep's face! Then we'll see who the worst hosts ever are!

Case of the Mondays?

Me too. Oh well, at least we're in good company! But before we go face plant into a tray of lasagna, you may want to check out:

Lady GaGa's "Born This Way" video can be seen HERE. She gives birth on other planets. Need any more enticement? Didn't think so.

While some may be heaping abuse on him, I think James Franco seemed just stoned enough to host the Oscars. (I don't think he was stoned, but I found it charming that he seemed that way). I also found Anne Hathaway likable and plenty peppy enough to help me enjoy the journey through the last million years of Hollywood.

Our manstress also kindly documented his entire experience HERE. On the whole, the show was kind of boring (which helps it blend into every other Oscar night ever), the movie montage at the beginning was fun, the duo's monologue was admittedly painful, but everything after the (also painful) Kirk Douglas/Melissa Leo segment was pleasant enough. Well, the song & dance & drag thing was a clunker too. But the rest of the night I liked!

Oscar, Please Let Franco Sing Cher

You must follow THIS link to hear James Franco rehearse Cher's should-have-been-nominated-for-an-Oscar-song "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from last year's Burlesque. While this proves there really is nothing James Franco cannot do, it also lets us down easy. He disappointedly tweeted that the number was cut from the Oscar broadcast.

Which brings me to another point- yes, Burlesque was maybe not "great cinema" or even remotely Oscar-worthy, but the song itself is really very good. And could Burlesque have been any worse than the much maligned Gwyneth Paltrow should-have-been-made-for-CMT Country Strong? Doubt it. But Gwyneth has been singing her way through every television show for a few months now, and so Oscar only followed suit by nominating her song so she could sing yet again on TV. Personally, I'll wait until she's back on Glee. Don't forget to listen to my manstress' song above!

*P.S. Our Oscar party show comes out this Friday!

Franco 101

Do you want to become an expert in the subject area known as James Franco? Okay, put all your hands down- of course we all want to become Francologists! Luckily for students like us, James Franco is about to be a college class on a campus in California. Click HERE to read more about it (although they neglect to mention how many credits it's worth).

Again, I am impressed with the one known as Franco. Artist! Filmmaker! Actor! Spiderman friend/villain! Soap Star! Oscar Host! Stud Muffin! What can't this man do? He reminds me of a really sexy Cliff and Kendall- what with his many talents and fingers in so many different pies. (Of course the real Cliff and Kendall would have their fingers in actual pies, instead of figurative ones like Franco does. That of course, goes without saying. Oops! I said it).

Franco-philia

GOD my comic genius/off the charts cleverness surprises even me sometimes! (See classic headline for this post). Anyway- what can't James Franco do? He's proven himself in nearly every cinematic genre-

He's had his own shows at Fine Arts galleries, he's made art films that nearly satisfy everyone's erotic fantasies of being simultaneously banged by two James Francos, he's a murderous recurring character on General Hospital- and I'm this close to seeing '127 Hours' which features him cutting off his own arm. So what if he naps through classes at Yale (or Harvard or whichever fancy school he's now attending?). His life is a master class in self-growth and hotness!

Oh yeah- he's also a singing (?) performance artist, and he's hosting this year's Oscar ceremonies with Anne Hathaway! I actually want to watch!! Can he make a 4 hour ceremony that's honoring a movie about the internet exciting? If he can't, no one can. I'm smitten. There I said it.

AND bonus! If you're on the fence as to whether you should see "The Green Hornet" or not- yep, he's got a very funny cameo (and the rest of the movie's actually pretty good too).

James Franco is Just Like Us!

I love James Franco because he's just like Cliff and Kendall: He's an artist!! Although Cliff and Kendall are the world's fattest artists working almost exclusively (almost) in the medium of podcasting and bloggetry- and James Franco is amazingly sexy and is working in seemingly every medium.

Click HERE for an article on his upcoming contemporary art show in Manhattan. I want to go! And not only because many fine artists enjoy taking naked "portraits" of themselves! (It counts as a portrait if it's framed.)