Author of "Guns in Bars" Bill Arrested

HOT SUBJECT: Short version of the story: a member of the TN legislature introduced a bill that would make it legal to carry a gun into a bar. Regular rules of carrying a gun apply, but sure- why not have a few belts and then decide what to shoot? All kidding aside, the reasoning behind this bill was- what if you are attacked outside a bar!?! The thieves know you can't blow their ass away, the way you would if they tried to mug you, carjack you, etc. anywhere else.

I'm pretty sure this bill did not pass (but can't be bothered to Google it). Anyway, the rest of the story (with my own personal judgments removed): The chief sponsor of this bill was arrested recently. For a DUI. With an illegal gun in his possession. (Technically, I think the gun he was carrying was illegal due to his intoxication, which sounded pretty heavy). Just gonna let you do with this information what you will.

Click HERE to read all about it! And to see the mug shot, which is almost Nick Nolte-level.

Greatest Christmas Gift #1

I don't like guns and we don't condone them! A few years ago I even told my own brother that he would shoot his eye out when, like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story," he got a RED RYDER BB GUN. (Did you guess it?)

BUT- on screen there is no greater example of a kid longing for one gift so bad it fills his life with a mania that knows no bounds. Whatever it was for you, whether you knew you wanted it or not- we've all had our "BB gun." In 1996 I welled up with tears and said "This is my Red Ryder BB Gun" when I opened a framed photograph that was autographed by Rosie O'Donnell. (It's something different for everyone!) It was a complete surprise that was better than anything I could have asked for.

As an adult I find most of the joy of Christmas truly does come from giving gifts, but as a kid- you want to RECEIVE! And if you're ever lucky enough to get that perfect gift, like I was in 96, then that's the feeling you remember every Christmas afterward. That's the feeling that makes some of us look up during a 4th of July barbecue and mutter "Damn I wish it was Christmas!" It stays with you- and I wish that feeling for all of you this Christmas.

Merry Christmas from Cliff, Kendall, Mr. Snodbottom, Mrs. Potterbutter Butterchurn, our writers, and everyone else at Cliff and Kendall Studios. We love you.

Cliff and Kendall Hate Guns!

But that doesn't stop Kendall from shootin'! It is important when venting frustrations to do so in a constructive manner. Rewallpaper the living room, polish your silver, bake a low fat cake, tell your children you love them, or shoot some shit! Kendall recently went on a shooting spree in a very controlled and safe environment (he even wore protection on his ears- Quentin Tarantino never told you that you could lose your hearing busting so many caps in so many asses!).

We would like to take this as an opportunity to say GUNS KILL PEOPLE. Also GEORGE W. BUSH KILLS PEOPLE. FOR OIL.

Kendall would never advocate assassinating anyone though. He's a nice guy. A peace-loving, cake eating kinda guy. We wish everyone happiness, fulfillment, and health.