Birthdays Are Special

As a teenager I baked birthday cakes for the likes of Madonna, Rosie O'Donnell, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Cher. (It was kind of like sending up a burnt offering, but instead you got to eat it with ice cream). Now, as an adult I must make due "wishing" happy birthday to celebrities via this blog. Sunrise, sunset.

Anyway- I missed a few birthdays this month!! Up top, see Britney Spears celebrate a birthday- only a few weeks ago she celebrated turning 30! Hopefully she took advantage of both 30th birthday episodes we recorded this year, and eased herself into middle age along with us. Only 10 days ago the world's Gyllenhaaliest Jake turned 31!! So much older than me. It's much more appropriate to lust after celebrities that are older than you.

In case I forget in January, allow me to preemptively wish Happy Cakeday to another older celebrity (and my first love) Justin Timberlake, also turning 31!

Also in January: Living legend (and Patron Saint of ME) Dolly Parton turns 66! Salute her!

Hope For Old Age

It seems like only ten years ago so many of my favorite stars were in their fifties. And now THIS article extols the virtues of famous folks in their sixties!

Now- I truly don't know what I'll do when, in ten more years, so many of my favorite stars will be in their seventies! I'll probably be dead though, so who cares. Hope for tomorrow, guys!

Happy Birthday Dolly!

Happy Birthday Dolly!! Today the legendary singer/songwriter/sequin-wearer turns 65! Whatever you do, Dolly, DON'T RETIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Dolly Movie?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Fudddddggggcccckkkkkkk let this be true!!!!!!!!!!!

From EW.com:

"Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah are set to co-star in a new film called Joyful Noise, according to the Hollywood Reporter. The “musical-driven movie” will revolve around a gospel choir that both of their characters are trying to prevent from being closed down. This will be Parton’s first major film role since 1992. Todd Graff (Camp) is writing and directing."

Happy Birthday Dolly!!

Today America's number one treasure turns FOREVER YOUNG!!

She is an inspiration to us and to the world!! There just aren't enough good things to say about her- so we'll just say "Happy Birthday" and Thank the Good Lord Above for sharing the same planet with her.

Have a great day, Dolly- with many happy returns!!

We Believe!!!!

A Christmas Song that is our personal motto!!
P.S.- find out who was REALLY kissing Santa Claus in this week's show!!!

Dolly on Michael Jackson

Enjoy this Youtube video:

Dolly on weight loss:

"I'm up and I'm down, but I don't have any tips for anybody. It's a bitch any way you look at it. You either starve or you get fat."

Happy Counter-Culture Holiday!

Did you know TODAY is a holiday?? For those Michael Phelps-like people around the world April 20th is a day to hit the bong hard and toke up. For more information on why exactly 4/20 is a pot-holiday click HERE.

If you are super high and already watched the Dominos video below- click HERE.

AND OMG- high or not- you MUST watch this: DOLLY PARTON ON PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE
Again my life has come full circle . . .

Get a J-O-B!

In our continuing effort to help you better your life, Kendall and I would like you to know ONE of the jobs pictured above is HOT HOT HOT right now! Is it:

A) Night club entertainer
B) Beautician
C) Hooker
D) Sexy Accountant

Guess!!! And then click HERE!

Dolly Report/14 Minutes, 59 Seconds

So last night was Dolly Parton at Radio City Music Hall! And I don't have to tell you how AMAZING it was. (It was). She was in great voice, hilarious, and the crowd loved her. I won't reiterate how we should all aspire to be like her. I'll just say it was a magical night to remember!!

But something else really weird did happen: Before the show I was outside on my cell phone about to get in line to go in. And I heard someone say "Excuse me, excuse me" and I turned and it was a some guy I didn't know. He said "Do you have a video on Youtube?" And I guess I looked pretty stunned because he repeated "Do you have a video on Youtube for 'Better Get to Livin'.?" I nodded and he said "oh, it's just so funny, it just keeps making me laugh." And I hope I said "Thanks," (I probably did) but it's quite possible I was caught so off guard that I just walked away amazed/frightened that I had been recognized from Youtube. (Of course I wish he had said, "Your voice is familiar. Do you have a podcast?")

But I suppose that makes it official: Everyone is famous. If I get recognized on the street- you too will be recognized for something. You've been in the paper, you were seen in the background of a live news broadcast, you accidentally wandered onto the set of "Made of Honor" and now you're forever in a Patrick Dempsey movie. Something: You are Famous. We all are now. Congratulations.

Garfield was Right!! Mondays are Terrible

Monday's are so awful! Much like nightmares that come around every seven days, they sneak up on you and suck all the life right out of you. And the Monday morning horrors can only be cured with one thing: Dolly Parton videos!! Enjoy and repeat after me "Tuesday is only a day away!"

Be Like Dolly!

In this somewhat bizarre paparazzi video taken in the parking lot of an Indian restaurant in West Hollywood, Dolly is followed with a camera and asked a litany of inane questions. But! She handles the intrusion with a sweetness and cordial air that we all wish we could muster in the face of such annoyances. If everyone in the world were as kind, imagine the possibilities!