Using Facebook in Troubled Times

We all somehow are "friends" with people (at least on facebook) that when faced with things they say, we wonder, "How and why am I friends with this person?" These people we must've kinda liked at some other point in our lives come out of the woodwork to post hateful awful things as their "status update" just in case you might be interested in their POV.

Well, last year before the election I took the opportunity to unfollow soooo many 'friends' that now facebook is almost an enjoyable experience again. Now my facebook is filled with nice things that don't often send me into a blind rage.

Here's how you can too!

Hover your cursor over the right hand corner of a post. That drop-down box will appear. If you click "Hide" on a person's facebook page (not a page like Seinfeld) you will get another menu box. You can then choose what amount of updates you receive from your friend. For truly heinous people I Unfollow them completely. I have unfollowed hundreds of real people I know and now my facebook newsfeed is mostly full of things I like. Let's check them out!

Celebrity updates!! Kathy Griffin is twitting/faceplanting all the time and I would much rather know that Kathy is currently in the lobby signing Tired Hooker T-shirts than know that my friend from 4th grade thinks it's a particularly hard time for white people right now. FML!!!

Facebook is also a great way to keep up with people you barely know at all, but that still post shirtless pics of themselves sometimes. These are the people you really hope aren't racist or otherwise awful so you can keep getting the shirtless updates. The sexy friend who can't seem to keep his shirt on is often the hardest person to unfollow. 

Richard Simmons is updating! He'll let you peek in on his Vegas Vacation and keep you motivated to lose weight!

Classic "Star Trek" actor George Takei is all over my newsfeed (even though I've never seen an episode of the original "Star Trek").  He's got funny things popping up all the time and is a much kinder presence than your friends from college who are "face-spamming" about their Savior all the time. 

One MUST follow Elvira on facebook- I don't even have to explain! It's ELVIRA ON FACEBOOK. (One of the last remaining reasons to visit the old 'book!)

I also get updates from this website. Dinosaur Dracula is about old toys, Halloween and Christmas posts, and non-topical fun times! After unfollowing so many real people from facebook, you too will see it can be a pleasant experience too! 

Finally, I get all these updates from "I fucking love science," and I am not a scientist, but they are fun and not related to most current events. It also allows you to feel like you could learn something and let's you feel cool by subscribing to a page with fuck in the title. 

Double finally, I would like to draw your attention to the supposedly targeted ads that pop up. I admit that some ads are right on the money (I'm being offered pizza 24 hours a day from most websites I go to), but if you'll look up in the red circle to the right of Stephen Colbert's face- you'll see that Facebook is still getting it wrong. I guess I'm being told about 'WOMEN on Facebook' because I listed that I was a fan of Madonnna and Cher? 

Oh, 2013 Society, how do I survive you?