Thursday, January 31, 2008

AOL on our hometowns:



Kendall and I live in the (2) center(s) of the world, and this invites criticism from those terrified of 18 lane highways and the hordes of pick-pockets waiting to pounce on anyone with a fanny pack.

But luckily AOL has come along to defend us!

Here's what they say about New York and LA, respectively:

New York City
The high cost of living and dense population of New York City make it seem a daunting place to live. The average price of a Manhattan apartment is $1.3 million. Parking spaces go for the price of McMansions in other cities. And many apartments aren't that much bigger than parking spaces. However, New York City is still a land of opportunity -- whether you're seeking fame, fortune, culture, or just want to live in the center of it all. On that score, no other city can compete.

Los Angeles
Fires, freeways and active encouragement of all that is fake in American culture -- that is what L.A. is known for. It was also called the most polluted city in the country by the American Lung Association. However, Los Angeles is the nation's trendsetter and the most creative outcasts from other communities all go there to find work, acceptance and some fun.

Thank God they are on the case! And now our families are free to come and visit us.

Happy Birthday to our Friend!

Yes, it's true! A close personal friend of mine and Kendall's is having a birthday today!!

Twenty Seven years ago, the world was blessed with the birth of the one and only, multi-talented, artiste: Justin Timberlake. Born in Tennessee (like all the best celebrities) his musical talent was discovered while still in the womb. His mother first heard his heavenly voice humming along to the car radio as she was being driven to the hospital.



He later went to elementary school with RheAnn White (our connection! check out our top friends on MYSPACE baby!) and it was there he somehow was escorted to the Mickey Mouse Club. He went on to form supergroup 'Nsync with those other boys. (Fun fact: it was during this time he first appeared on my bedroom wall!)



After the dissolution of TRL trailblazers 'Nsync, he went on to record the hot and heavy albums "Justified" and "Futuresex/Lovesounds." He is now currently immortal.



Help us in wishing JT the happiest of rich and famous birthdays!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Media Minute (Blog version)


Joining the ranks of some of our southern cousins, John Edwards and Rudy G. have dropped out of the race for the white house. We know that you are probably waiting to decide who to vote for until you hear whom Cliff and Kendall have thrown their (considerable) weight behind. But, have no fear our official podcaster endorsement will be forthcoming.

Montel Williams is ceasing production at the end of this season!! This is leaving a gaping hole in the programming of many local affiliates. Sure, they could find some other fame-hungry judge to fill the timeslot, but we have another idea.

Oh wait, maybe Marie Osmond will take his place. She's apparently getting her own talk show next season. Was no one else paying attention in the late 90's? She and Donnie had a show for about two years after Rosie became popular and everyone without something to do got their own show. We did enjoy the headline for the AOL story though: 'Dancing' Loser Gets a Talk Show'. No Mormon propaganda!

Remember when Kendall broke the WEIRD story of the pot vending machines? Well, it's true!! Hopefully they'll be next to regular vending machines. For convenience.

They're getting rid of those awful Wendy's commercials with weirdos in red wigs. Yay!! Now can they please bring Dave Thomas back from the dead? They did it with Fred Astaire. Or they could just air this:




That'll get rid of the January blahhhs.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tell Me Lies


Believe it when we tell you that a brand new episode of Cliff and Kendall: Coast to Coast is on the way!

This week we're talking all about lies. Why do we lie? How do we lie? How can you tell if someone else is lying? (Listen for Kendall's super informational explanation of how to be your own personal lie detector- and then if that gameshow "To Tell the Truth" is revived you can clean up!! Just remember your old podcasting friends when you're looking to unload some of those winnings!)

Cliff regales the world with the tale of the first lie he ever told. Kendall tries to pull one over on our listeners and even MORE.


Also, we debut the new segment "Cliff and Kendall's History Lesson" and we again venture into the fan favorite world of "Weird News!!" (You won't believe some of the strange stuff Kendall's dug up this week! Outrageous!!)

So come along, as your old buddies explore the world of bending the truth. And there isn't one mention of "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" or "Iraq is overflowing with weapons of mass destruction." Can you believe it? We forgot to get political!! You'll just have to wait for our Fourth of July Fireworks show.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Learn More!


If you were curious about things Cliff and Kendall were talking about this week, this post may help you sleep at night.

Putting on a production of "Greater Tuna" or "A Tuna Christmas" turned up on Cliff and Kendall's collective bucket list. To learn more, just click on Greater Tuna for all the answers!

Kendall spoke about the amazing History Channel special "Life After People." Learn more here.

Interested in reading more about life after death? This is (probably) the Sylvia Browne book Cliff read about life "on the other side."

Also, from the cutting room floor of Cliff and Kendall's favorite things:

Cliff's favorite website: X-Entertainment
its an incredibly funny site dedicated mostly to the nostalgia of the 1980's. If you grew up then you will love reading articles on things like He-Man, seeing old commercials, and re-experiencing the things that made our youth so "special." The site also does amazing month-long celebrations of Halloween and Christmas.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bucket List

The latest bandwagon for Cliff and Kendall to jump on is that of making a "bucket list."

We ain't go no shame! This new episode is really, really good. I'm just layin' it out there. In it, Cliff and Kendall discuss things we want to do before we die, such as boring things like taking trips and winning podcaster awards.

But then things get interesting when we TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE. Its been a mystery for a while and we thought we'd finally clear things up.

(Is it distracting how I write "we" sometimes and "Cliff and Kendall" sometimes?)

We also debut a new segment called "Cliff and Kendall's Media Minute" in which hot topics of the day are discussed and brought to your attention. Because its really all about YOU!

Into the mailbag we also dip, bringing out viewer mail that's too outrageous to be believed!

And did you know, every episode of our show is a labor of love? Emphasis on labor. (One day we'll write a joint autobiography called "Cliff and Kendall: Technical Difficulties.") But we love podcasting and podcasting is our destiny and it is the alpha and the omega so we do it anyway.

Come along on this fantastic voyage!! This is the best episode yet. There I said it. Again.

gonna miss him




1979-2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

LOST characters I don't want to punch in the face


In celebration of the upcoming season, here are the damn few LOST characters I don't want to punch in the face. Most of them I don't care if they live or die (most of them I want to die!). There are a surprisingly large number of people confined on this island.

And it took me a while to grasp just why it seems that every time you turn around someone else seems to be living on this island. I think the main reason is that before long you, the viewer, will be yearning for the death of most of these castaways. And its been suggested to me that this is no accident. Living on an island with people not of your choosing would get on your nerves after a while. People keep eating your mangos, someone else is crapping in your makeshift toilet. I get it. Also, being stranded in and of itself would certainly make you a lil' bit kooky. (Look what happened to Gilligan).

But as I've looked back over the last 3 seasons, I realized that at one time or another I had wanted to haul back and punch most of these characters in the face. That was one reason I wasn't so put off with the introduction of the group of people from the other side of the island in the beginning of the second season. Frankly, by the time we met Anna Lucia I was so tired of Jack's self-appointed Kingship I was glad to find a bitchy ex-cop who handled things her own way. And believe me, when she accidentally shot Shannon, I stood up by myself in my bedroom and applauded good 'ol Anna Lucia. I only wish that the bullet that killed Shannon had been magical enough to take out Sayid at the same time. Of course it was only a matter of time until Anna Lucia herself met a similar fate.

And that's one of the good things about the show, you never know who is going to be the next recipient of one of those all-too-familiar beachside funeral services these people are so fond of having. But, for the record, as of right now the following list of castaways never made me want to shove their face in the sand and hope "the others" would do the rest of the dirty work.

1. Kate- Even throughout her "love affair" with Sawyer she didn't inspire my wrath the way most of these island romances did. (That was the key reason Sayid and Shannon deserved a good beating). She also has an increasingly interesting back story that I don't mind flashing back to once and a while. Also, I do in fact love Sawyer now, but I haven't forgotten his incredibly annoying season one personality.

2. Hurley- Who could hate Hurley, the most cuddly passenger on that fateful flight? He's funny, he actually makes decisions that make sense, and he too has an interesting "before the island" story. I would love to know more about that lottery money, those numbers, and the asylum. (Was that really Libby?) He is wonderful, mowing down those others with the van? Priceless.

3. Locke- I have never hated John Locke. He is my favorite character on the show, and I always side with him when he comes up against Jack. Even when he's wrong, he's just so passionate about his belief that they should "listen to the island," and it will reveal its secrets. He also dated Peg Bundy in his former life. And he seems to know why leaving the island is a mistake. And he heard Jacob.

4. Walt- Walt and Michael left for the mainland, thank God. Walt never made me wanna punch him, mostly because he's a kid, but also because he had a rough enough time with his dead Mom, deadbeat stepfather, and having to deal with Michael's overbearing parenting. Also, it sucked when he was kidnapped by "the others" just so it wouldn't appear that he aged two years in the 65 days the castaways are supposed to have been on the island. If he had to go, I'm glad he took his incredibly annoying father with him.

5. Claire's baby- See reasons not to hit children mentioned above. Add that to the fact that this baby has to constantly deal with (former) drug-addict, sometimes religious fanatic Charlie trying to be its father and the baby gets a pass. Of course, not anymore . . .

6. Rose- I only wanted to punch her husband Bernard during that one episode where he decided he was desperate to get off the island, other than that theirs was one of the few island romances I could get behind. They were married and then separated by the plane crash only to have a moving reunion in the beginning of this season. Rose also adds a dose of common sense whenever she's around and is a great, and definitely under-used, sort of motherly character that most of these hot-headed goofballs should listen to more often. She is so under used we only saw her at the very end of season 3, although we could've used some Rose to love to balance out all the Ben-hating of that season.

7. Sun- Oh you better believe Sun's husband Jin deserved a good beat down. In the beginning of season one he was totally hatable, right up there with Sawyer. He seemed to be one of the villains that came down with the rest of the group. But Sun was the down-trodden wife of this jerk, and she became instantly more lovable once it was revealed she spoke English and was on her way out of this marriage until she had a last minute change of heart and got on the plane anyway. (Big mistake?) And even though they've reconciled, she's pregnant and still hard to hate (except when she's sticking up for Juliet).

8. Boone- Boone is dead now, and it's entirely possible that he would have grown to become just as annoying as many of his fellow survivors had he not chosen to climb up in that plane stuck in the trees. He came very near being hatable when it was revealed he had "feelings" for his insufferable ex-stepsister Shannon, but he was so attractive and died so soon afterward that he escaped just in time.

9. Vincent- Who could hit a dog? He also apparently has to fend for himself now that Walt's gone and Shannon thankfully went to that great beauty parlor in the sky.

Season 4 begins soon and all of these are subject to change. Will Sun do something really stupid? Will Claire's baby finally go one step too far and piss me off? Only time will tell!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Relief

I just had to add another post regarding our new episode. Kendall calls it Opera Winfrey Presents: Cliff and Kenda. I like it, has a nice ring to it.

Anyway, the post below this one is a little disturbing. It features photos talked about in our Weird News segment. The post below that one is possibly more disturbing as it contains the song I wrote called "harry potter scarf." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Here's a little taste of favorite things, guess which one is mine and which one is Kendall's:




and here's something else to ease the pain:

Weird News!!!!





Here, as promised are the pictures from Weird News. Sorry, it's a little disturbing.

New Episode on the way!!!

"Oprah Winfrey Presents Cliff and Kendall's Favorite Things," or something like that, will soon be up on the airwaves. Or internet waives or something like that. Is there an 'i' in waives? Or am I thinking of waivers? Nevermind.

In this episode recorded last night, and being edited currently by Kendall, we discuss our favorite things (obviously).

Here's a sampling:

Cliff's:
30 Rock
Fiber One Bars
and ??????????????????????

Kendall's:
e-mails from listeners
dentistry
and ??????????????????????

You'll have to listen to find out more!!

And also, Cliff mentioned his (non)songwriting career.
Here's the song spoken about on the podcast, "harry potter scarf." Listen at your own risk!

Friday, January 11, 2008

pinkberry


So this summer I went to LA and visited Kendall for a week. On this trip I was introduced to pinkberry. Pinkberry, if you don't know, is a yogurt(like) frozen dessert topped with, uh, toppings. Most of the toppings are fruits, but you can also get crushed up Oreos, carob chips, or even Cap'n Crunch.

I don't want to make this sound better than it is (its not like Paula Deen's banana pudding) but it is actually very good. It was so good that I made Kendall take me there maybe 4 or 5 times over the 8 days I was there.

And now pinkberry is expanding (I guess) because they have lit upon the concrete shores of Manhattan. Most locations in New York and downtown in the hipper areas of the city. One location just happens to be about 4 blocks from my office. You can head over to our food blog http://diaryoffood.blogspot.com to see just how many times I've been there since I discovered its existence last night, and to keep track of how many times I visit in the future.

Yeah, that's it.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Most Annoying Podcast Ever


No, not last week's show! Our new episode, entitled "The Most Annoying Podcast Ever," is now available! This week we discuss all those things that get under your skin. Like:

slow drivers
fur coats
Paris Hilton
people who write in all lower-case letters
pointing to your wrist instead of asking for the time
gas prices
ourselves

and MORE!

we also dip into the mailbag and offer Shakespearian quotations! All for free, funded by our love for our listeners.

Get your eFix, or is it iFix? of Cliff and Kendall with this week's episode!

Also, thanks for voting in our poll! There are only a few days left to tell us what your new year's resolution is! (Or have you already broken it?)

Monday, January 7, 2008

dear god, why did you make mondays?

My, how the tables have turned! It was only a few months ago that I would get a call from Kendall as he was driving home from work, and he would ask "so what did you do today?"

I would reply, "well, I woke up around 1:30 and went to the library where I checked out some DVDs and then I watched one of those DVDs and then I laid here in the heat (it was summer in New York without air conditioning) and the I ate some stuff and then you called."

This is because I was unemployed. Horribly, torturously, tediously, terrifyingly unemployed.



Now the roles have been reversed. I have a job (not a career, there's a big difference) and Kendall's at home everyday. He's got a career, but momentarily no job.

It happens. 'It' being 'life' and 'shit.'

But that brings me to now, MONDAY. Typically, this non-career-job I have is the epitome of easy. And today is no different, except for the fact that every 'easy' task I've undertaken has been an ordeal not unlike old whats-his-face pushing that boulder up Mt.-whaddyacallit.

I suppose without Mondays, Fridays wouldn't seem as sweet. That's what Kendall would say. Although I know that when out of work, everyday seems like every other day and Mondays, Fridays, its all the same. I don't miss not working. Not in the least. But sleeping until 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, now that gives me a reason to look forward to retirement.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

first let me say that right now, as i write this i am watching season 3 of 'Lost' on dvd. and i hate the others. HATE THEM. want them to die. painful and horrible deaths. i won't say too much, because at the end of the upcoming season of the show Kendall and i are going to do an episode devoted to the castaways.

ANYWAY

below is the trailer for my favorite movie of last year "Year of the Dog."



have a great weekend everyone and love yourselves!

Friday, January 4, 2008

A Look Back: Favorite Music of '07

Also in our Review-cast, we discuss our favorite music of the past year.

Here for your perusal are a couple clips representing our picks:
Cliff's favorite album was "Neon Bible" from The Arcade Fire



Kendall's most listened to song of the year was John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change"



OH AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN OUR POLL OVER ON THE SIDEBAR>>>>
You can drop us a comment or an e-mail and let us know if your new year's resolution isn't one of those listed! Good Luck!!

Year In (not urine) Review


So the new episode is up right now:

Cliff and Kendall's Year in (not urine) Review

In which we go month by month discussing the momentous events of 2007. Most often heard in the review: "no, i don't remember anything about that month either."

also discussed:

harry potter and the deathly hallows
digital tv conversion
hooters pearl
nancy pelosi
jesus
iphone
regime change
kwik-e-mart
september
trouble
obesity
and more!!

So be sure to check out the podcast for your Cliff and Kendall fix!

***Also in a personal post script, we would like to (be the first to??) point out that Presidential Candidate Huckabee is evil. Pure evil. He is the answer to those who say "no one could be worse than Bush." Oh really?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

New episode coming soon!


Hey everyone,


We just wanted to drop a line that we started a new episode last night! This week's show is all about wrapping up 2007 in a neat little package. What are your fondest memories of the past year? Are you like us and have very few memories at all?


Make sure to tune in later this week when the podcast is released and relive all the glory of the past year.


Now that 2007 is in year heaven, we must move on to that futuristic sounding year 2008! Its so round and pretty. What will happen? Will this be the year we finally make contact with extra terrestrials? Will Cliff and Kendall win some sort of podcast award? Do they even give out podcast awards? Will Cliff and Kendall have to create podcast awards just so they can bestow one upon themselves?


Imagine the possibilities.